Undertale: Fragments

Chapter 14: Heartbroken

What cannot be 

said will be wept.

♡Sappho

☽G

It's an odd feeling, to be so distant and yet so close to your emotions. A part of me is numb, quiet from my confession. The other is asking what I think I'm doing. Putting Frisk in that position, especially while she's ill. Making her see me in that light while she's still grieving over Sans.

My fingers twitch for a cigarette, but I don't move with Frisk laying on my ribcage. Her breathing shallow and quick. Her body heating my bones up. Her cheek pressing against my collarbone. Once or twice she moans in her sleep, the illness hurting her even while she's unconscious.

My right arm is wrapped around her torso, keeping her steady so she doesn't lean to the side. My left hand continuously brushes her bangs from her forehead. Hoping that my cold bony digits will help keep her cool somewhat. Not just that I like to feel her skin, her hair. No, just to keep her cool.

I pull in a deep breath, my ribs moving against Frisk. She doesn't stir. I look away for a moment, over the dark blue bridge we rest on. The darkness below seemingly endless.

It doesn't matter what I want. I've told my truth, and that's it. She knows, and now it's in her hands. I won't press the subject again. I'll get her out of the underground, back to the surface with all her family. I'll protect her, be here for her. But nothing more.

She doesn't love me that way. It's a simple truth. Even though her lies are so sweet, I won't allow myself to taste them. She loves Sans, and he's dead. She needs time to process this, and once she does, she'll know what she wants. But I know she doesn't want me. Not like that.

I'll take care of Frisk. I'll let her live her life as she wishes. That's it.

 She has my soul. I've given it up to her a long time ago. I never really expected it back. To have her being the one breaking it, I don't want it any other way.  

My soul stirs within me. Pulsing with the pain of my decision. A sudden emptiness ripping right through my sternum. The hurt both numbing and all consuming.

Heartbroken. That's the word. Giving her my heart, but never having hers. Being in love with her, but her not loving me.

And there's no one to blame for it but me. I knew I shouldn't have let myself fall so far, and look at where I got. Broken, inside and out. In some many ways. Fragments.

If... If there was only a way to separate the fragments, to put them in their correct form. Bring back both Sans and Gaster. To bring back that stupid skeleton that died with Frisk's heart. To make her happy again, and to have me disappear.

Chara is right, I would kill to be Sans again. Or at least a part of him.

I pull a lock of her brown bangs between my digits. Straighten the piece out and tugging at it a little. Frisk sighs in her sleep. I drop the piece of hair and continue brushing her skin, moving her bangs aside.

Screw it. Might as well enjoy her warmth while she's here. Where I can pretend I'm hers and she's mine.

I close my eye sockets, leaning my skull against the top of her head. Breathing in her rose and vanilla scent. Taking in the softness of her hair.

This is going to kill me later, but I simply don't care anymore. I'm fragments of what was. Why not create more pieces?

Then she stirs, and I carefully take my skull off her hair.

"G..." She murmurs softly.

"I'm right here, doll face." I say, making my tone controlled, soft.

"Can you..." She takes a deep breath. "Get me... some water?" She nearly gasps.

"Yeah. You'll have to sit up for a moment, doll. Can you do that?" I ask.

Her Determination flares as she manages to bring her body off my chest. She slumps over, nearly panting from the fever. Her hair hiding her face.

"One second, doll."

I stand up and go to the backpack sitting a few feet away near the edge of the small bridge we sit on. Kneeling over it, I quickly unzip it, my hands searching for a water bottle. I pull one out, and just as I hold it triumphantly in the air, a force slams into my right shoulder.

My body jerks over the edge, my legs flailing outwards as my hands clutch for anything to latch onto. My left hand catches on the end of the bridge, my body swinging and hitting underneath the bridge before settling down. As I throw my right hand onto the bridge, I hear the loud laughter and see Frisk's retreating figure as her body disappears around the corner.

Chara.

I grunt as heave myself up. The water bottle gone from my hand. Jerking the backpack on, I take off after the little demon. The scent of roses and vanilla stuck in my nasal cavity.