Between Sky & Earth !

Chapter 8

There is nothing for me in this family they never treated me as one of their own, from the day i was born. They never wanted me in their lives at the first place.

I wonder how parents treat their own child like they have treated me for my entire life.

I am 30 years old, and there is not a single moment I remember when they have chosen me, they always chosen their desired children, I am the unwanted one in this family. Their was a time when I use to feel totally worthless, I use to doubt on my very existence because of them. They even told me what is my achievement I am a failure and I have accomplished nothing in life.

I have bared with them for 30 years, I tolerated their mistreatment every comment and every attempt to break my soul but I am not giving on myself not until I have single breath left in my body.

I will make it big and they will see what I can accomplish in my life. That day I will tell them about their all hurtful deeds but I am certain even then they will not have any remorse.

But I am not going to break down no matter how hard they try to break my spirit.

More they will demean me more I will rise, I promise that.

All I ever wanted was that some one should fight for me, choose me over others, but it never happened, my fights are mine alone.

Entire day I was bit off , I was in no hurry to go home, I waked on deserted streets lost and thinking can my so called parents never felt anything when I was suffering or still suffering because of their behavior.

Like they say Meri zindagi itni pyari nahi ki main maut se daru.(My life is not that precious that I should be afraid of death)

I am going to join this start up in JAN because it is becoming unbearable to stay in this house.

Today is Christmas eve and I don't have heart to wish to anyone, I have decided that I will stop pretending to be what I am not that is happy, I have played this for 30 long years but not any more, this new year I will be starting it with being honest and still making ample money, one more thing I will let people see their reality, they have staged this they are so nice people act for so long but not any more this drama has to end, its high time that this should end.

I have to go abroad that is Canada or Australia, there is no way left for me.

I keep playing last few days in my head, my own father calling me a whore and telling me to leave this house, which I am already planning, I don't have slightest attachment left with them, my own mother hit me, I am 30 years old for God sake. They are clearly not bothered about how I feel, so it is very clear message from their side that I need to go from here. I need to move with my plan as this is the only thing which will save me the misery of seeing their faces everyday. I am done trying to fit in their perfect family. They never considered me their family and I am fool to even think they are bothered, only when some outsider is around they will play as nice parents ask me food so that I will look bad.

I told their reality to ARIA, and my cousin Beath. She was saying to make peace with them after all they are my parents but what she did not know that they never treated me like family.

My sister started acting nice to me because I was on the verge of reveling her true self in anger, when he called me whore, then he should find the truth about his loving daughter whom he think is saint. What she has done behind his back he have no clue, on the other hand I did not do anything and he calls me whore. I am done tolerating such men who do not respect me. I fucking hate them.

Now I totally understand why women stay in abusive relationship because when it comes to heart we don't apply our brain and we just are so bound by love that we forget even our self respect and the people you love destroy you bit by bit and you let them do that till you have left a little hope that they will one day realize their mistake.

I can not bear torture any longer. I need to marry Prince Harry as soon as possible. Because this is the only thing which will take me where I want to go.

On this New Years Eve I am sitting with my laptop, sipping my favorite black tea, in a house with my estranged parents. From past few days I have heard the most derogatory remarks a women can here from the one who gave you life, its unbelievable but reality is far from what we imagine.

But I do not feel hatred toward them any more, but next few days are going to be decision making day as I have decided to start a new life, I think its about time that I only think about myself instead of any one else. It is really important for me to increase my package to 8 to 9 Lacs in the year 2016. No need to be too attached to things and do what is beneficial for you. You have done enough thinking about others now is the time to built your own life.

I just hope for the best.

Happy New Year to new life.

I met with Paldon on 2nd I liked them, I kind of feel I have to go, I am tired of fighting and proving my point to them. I am tired of being misunderstood all the time. Why should I explain myself to everyone? Why can't they just see the real sorrow behind this cool facade? Anyways I am tired I need to go from here then from this country. Not a single person whom I can turn to when I am feeling sad or lonely. There is no single person who understands me and I can call when I need them. When I have to do everything alone then why I have to bare anything for anyone. People gave up on me but I am not going to give up on myself. I have to be strong

Since child hood my life have been a constant struggle, I have been betrayed by friends, molested but their was never a single person whom I can turn to and share my pain and agony. I build up walls so that no one can see how broken my soul is, and plastered a smile on face this bold and blunt attitude to cover my soul from the hurt caused by people. Who will be more unfortunate then me whose parents do not care about, whose sister curse to have hellish life Who's friends betray and who's very best friend abuse her I am a broken sole but all those people will never be able to break my spirit.

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