gravity ➳ s.m.

thirty-eight

*Two months ago*

Becca's P.O.V.

I watch a Matt walks down my driveway and I sigh.

Damn it, Becca

"Matt, wait!" I shout after him causing him to turn around. I see the hurt in his eyes that I can tell he has been holding in all night.

"Yeah?" He asks with a smile.

"I'm sorry" I blurt with a crack of weakness in my voice. He just smiles and nods.

My eyes tear up a bit. What happened to me? I'm so fucking emotional.

I walk down the driveway in front of him not even quite sure of what I'm going to do. I go to say something but stop right away. He sends me yet another half smile.

"Stop doing that." I command.

"Stop doing what?" He asks acting as if he's confused while biting down on his lip. I clench my fists at my side, that's it.

"GOSH JUST DRIVING ME MAD!" I burst out, losing it.

"ACTING AS IF YOU KNOW THAT WASN'T AWFUL" I shout at him waving my hands in the air referring to all the previous events.

"AND BITING DOWN ON THAT GOD DAMN LIP OF YOURS GIVING ME MIXED SIGNALS" I snap, continuing.

"MAKING IT SO HARD FOR ME NOT TO WANT TO BE ANYTHING MORE THAN FRIENDS" I scream.

"DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO EXPLAIN TO EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD THAT IS NOT US WHAT WE REALLY ARE? OH YOU KNOW WE'RE JUST FRIENDS WHO OCCASIONALLY KISS SOMETIMES." I yell at him as he looks a bit taken back.

"I DIDNT ASK FOR THIS MATT, FOR ANY OF THIS!" I bark letting everything I've been holding in for what seems like forever go. He smirks and I feel like smacking him for it but he stops me.

"Okay. I listened, I heard you, but now, I'm gonna talk, okay?" He asks but continues before I can even say anything.

"I didn't ask for this either. I didn't ask to develop feelings for my best friends ex. I didn't ask to walk in your house and be called Shawn twice. I didn't ask for you to read my journal, I didn't ask for this to be so hard on you. It happened though, and we can't change that so yeah I choose to ignore it and act like everything is okay in the hopes of one day maybe it will be." He states staying calm. I am taken back by his words.

"Matt, I'm just not ready." I explain and he nods in understandment.

"And so I'm not going to push you into something you're not ready for." He tells me and smiles before getting in his car and driving away.

What the hell just happened?

I rub my eyes but feel no tears.

I touch my lips but feel no frown.

Did I just get in a one-sided fight where the other person smiled before leaving, not resolving the issue and I'm not upset?

"I need to lay down" I tell myself as I walk back into my home and to my room. I slip into my bed and stare up at the ceiling. I furrow my eyebrows.

What the hell just happened?

***

I had stayed up nearly half the night debating to myself in a calm fashion.

is he angry, is he not angry?

are we fighting, are we not fighting?

do I like him, do I not like him?

It turned out after staying up for many hours that those questions could not be answered, but that was okay. I wasn't upset or angry I was just okay.

I can't describe it still but I'm not going to put anymore time into the thought of it.

I walk downstairs and yawn as I turn over and see my parents sitting down reading the paper.

"Good morning" they both say at the same time as turning a page in the paper which makes me giggle a bit.

I go to get my usual glass of orange juice as my phone buzzes. I reach in my pocket and see Matt's name pop up on the screen.

I stare at it for a minute before opening the text. I guess this is the moment we figure out the answer to all those questions.

I open it to see a picture he sent to me of Kim Kardashian's nudes with his face cropped onto it and I immediately laugh.

Yeah, I like him.

_________________________

A/N:

this is short /:

sorry for all the flashbacks

I'm just trying to make up

for everything ya'll missed.

Bye guys, love you all

- xoxoxoxo lyssssaaaa