gravity ➳ s.m.

thirty-nine

Shawn's P.O.V.

I pull Natalie aside and watch as she rolls her eyes at me as she waits for me, impatiently for me to speak.

"Is it like a haircut? A new outfit? What is it?" I ask as she scrunches her face.

"What the hell are you talking about Mendes?" She barks and I grow irritated.

"Rebecca. She's different, what is it?" I question and her face drops.

"Piss off Mendes" Natalie spits before walking away, back to her seat at the lunch table.

I clench my jaw, what did I do? what did I say?

I sit back down at the table and finish my meal in silence.

***

Once I get home and flop on my bed I go back to staring at my celieng in silence, getting lost in my thoughts.

That's all I seemed to do these days, sit around and think about all the 'where it went wrong's' and 'the what could have been's'. 

My friends think I've gone mad and I don't really disagree, she's always had that effect on me.

I can't help but feel as if I just can't let her go. Somethings just not right about it.

My fans haven't assumed a thing about her yet and the kids at my school think we were just a hit and run. I swung but I never came close to a hit. I think I'm the only one that really knows that.

I keep replaying the course of events over and over again in my head and I just try so hard to find where I went so horribly wrong, what I'm missing.

But all I can think about this endless wonder as to what is different about her today than a month ago. I have this great urge to know, it's killing me not to know this.

I pull out my phone and go to her contact. I hesitate to text her and sigh before exiting out of messaging. She won't speak to me, she won't even look at me.

I stand up and pace around my room. I wasn't at the fight quick enough. I embarrassed her by trying to hug her. She is angry I brought Ashley into her life.

Nothing makes sense.

I pull my phone out to text Rebecca but erase the message immediately. Just as I do so I receive a text from Natalie. I clear my throat as I open the text and read the words;

From: Natalie

If you want me to tell you about Becca, meet me tonight at the park around 9:00

I just stare at the message for awhile and decide its best just to show up and not bother asking the sudden change in mind.

I plop down on my bed and replay the moment in my head over and over.

Then it hits me.

She knows.

"Nothing I could have done could have made her this upset with me." I tell myself trying not to let the thought get to my head.

But of course, it does anyways.

I stand to my feet and I find myself walking to the door.

I need to explain.

I force myself to stop once I get halfway down my yard.

You're only making this worse Shawn.

I turn back around and walk to my porch but stop in my tracks when I hear the rustling of leaves.

I turn to find Natalie leaning against the tree in my yard, I sigh in relief.

"What are you doing here? I thought you said 9:00?" I am quick to question. She rolls her eyes at me and checks the time on her phone.

"Well yeah I waited there for about 10 minutes then figured you were too busy moping around" She says waving the time that reads 9:15 in my face.

How did time pass that quickly?

"You look like hell Mendes" She mumbles while her face softens a bit. I nod slowly while clearing my throat.

"What were you going to tell me then?" I ask growing irritated of the wait.

"Something you already know." She fires back causing me to bite down on my tongue.

"Something isn't right about her and I do-" I begin but get cut off mid-sentence.

"She's happy Shawn!" She shouts as the rage inside of me fades away. I take a step back from her and rethink everything that has been said.

"She's happy without you being there and messing things up for her!" She continues each word stabbing me hard in the chest. I clench my jaw at the hurtful words.

Happiness. Something I couldn't give her.

As soon as I loose eye contact with her and let my face soften in despair she realizes she has gotten to me and turns to leave.

"Wait." I plead causing her to turn and look into my sad brown eyes.

"Please tell me what I did wrong" I mumble weakly but I can she heard me when I notice her stiffen. She continues to look back at me and I notice her furrow her eyebrows. She tilts her head to the size and gives me her bed confused maybe even concerned face.

"You really don't know.. do you?" She asks calmly while blinking a couple times. I shake my head slowly growing more afraid of her response by the second.

The silence grows and just as I think she's about to answer the question I've been asking myself everyday for months she sighs and says;

"Well it's not really my place to tell." She states turning back around and walking down my yard.

"Wait." I command causing her to quickly turn on her heel and face me while raising an eyebrow.

"And why the hell should I do that!?" She chuckles causing me to send her a crooked grin.

"Because I know you know something"

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A/N:
long time know see my beautiful
people, I've been really caught up
and still am but I'm not giving up
quite yet on this story 😌

- xoxoxo lyssaaaaaa