The story that never ends.

Want to be with the stars.

To be honest I have been really struggling lately. I don't really want to talk about it. There's just to much that's way to complicated. But here's the basics: I kinda am confused. Sometimes my mom acts like she loves me and other times she acts like she wants to kill me. My dad has had his share of outburst and violence that he's taking special abuse classes for. They seem to really help. He's been way better lately. But I'm lost. I'm dying inside. There is always so much fighting even if there hasn't been much violence lately. So much hate. Some of that hate gets blamed on me. I wasn't purposefully born. The only reason why my parents got married is because I was going to be born. I don't feel like living anymore because I'm the cause of all this. And now my parents know. I told them this morning that I want to die. I just screamed it. They were fighting this morning and I didn't know what to say. I don't know how to express myself any more.I want to be with the stars, up in heaven with my creator. I can't mess up anymore if I'm up there. I'd be where I belong. To be honest, to anyone who has been wondering, like Cake_Boss23 and others, the scars on my wrist are not from a cat. I've done it because I feel like I deserve pain. I'm sorry. I didn't really feel like telling any body about where I am with my life, but I guess you should know. I love you all and I want to get to a better place in life. I do go to counseling tho. I feel like I need to see my counselor more often tho. I havnt seen her for like 2 and 1/2 weeks. So ya. That's that.  I just don't know what else to say.