YOUR POV:
'why did do that?, I should have said something else, I didn't mean it, im sorry' it was 2 days since the incident, I was released out of hospital, I had changed I went mad, crazy, I wasn't me, I constantly was talking to myself, I knew it wasn't healthy me being like this, but I couldn't help it. it wasn't the hospital that drove me insane, it was me, I drove Louis away, which mad me unhealthy. ' gosh, I am so worthless!' I sat down on the sofa, Louis bandaged my arm here.'stop it y/n, stop it' I shot up and walked somewhere else, louis' bedroom, I stood outside his room, by the door staring at his room.'i miss you' I was literally getting worse and worse by the second, it was killing me, I needed to talk to someone, but no one came' where are you?' I said as I walked into his bedroom and sat on his bed. where were the guys? they didn't come and see me, text me or nothing I have no idea why.'am I really that worthless?'i remember nicks texts,'he's right, I am,i'm a worthless, bitch, no cares, my life is a living hell'the tears came flooding down.the memories came flooding through. I placed my hand on my stomouch'i killed our baby'i was lost, I am dead to the world'he really meant it, he really is never gonna see me again,nor the guys'i need to text him again, he needs to know how I feel!
Louis i know i am bugging you, but i cant live without you, i feel so lonely i need to have someone hear to comfort me and it allways was you but even the boys wont come round, i have no other friends, perrie is in America, Danielle is doing a dance tour thing and i have no one the whole world is against me pls just talk.
that's the 4th time, I texted him. ' he really doesn't care any more, no replies, he has probally read it, but don't give a shit about me, face y/n, is there anything for you here anymore?'i looked around in louis' room, no there isn't, they boys, gone, Louis, gone, perrie, gone,danielle, gone, shippers?, had none anyway they all hated me,best friend? gone,boyfriend? who am I kidding I don't have one,' I don't have one'i got up and packed his things,' I know what to do, no one cares, I don't matter, I am just a waste of space on this planet now'.i knew what to do,i grabbed my phone and texted for the last time:
ok well i guess this is bye, bye Louis, and if you want the house feel free to take it, if you want your stuff it's in your bedroom and i left the locket on the kitchen table bye, i love youx
I placed my phone on his bed side table and sat on the bed staring at it and waited, waited for as long as I could, but no answer, there was just left a few more things to do.
I grabbed all his clothes and packed them in many different bags and boxes, it took about half an hour.i went in my room, any thing here matter too me? 'yes' I mumbled, I walked slowly towards it, the panda Louis won me, I picked it up and put it in a box, tears fell upon it, I squished it tightly, I grabbed the lipstick I wore on that day and wrote on the lid in big letters RIP, I fell to the ground'why?' I said looking up, I placed my head in my hands as I did, I felt something around my neck, the locket, I took it off and ripped out a piece of paper from my notepad and picked up the pen and wrote:
i know i texted you but i am not sure if you got them but i knew you would come here to collect your things any way so i thought i would right you this, i love you Louis as a best friend, a friend, and in a romantical way, i am sorry things ended the way they did, i didn't mean what i said like that, i knew the promise was broken because you said even if we break apart we will still be best friends cos we cant ruin our friendship, but we have so i left the locket here, you can do what ever you want with it, throw it away, give it away or keep it, most likely throw it but i don't mind. bye with lots of love y/n xx
I placed the locket on top and walked downstairs with it and placed the locket on the kitchen table as I said I would. i grabbed a piece of strong rope from the shed outside and walked slowly to my room'do I really want to do this?' I paused and thought' course I do, there is nothing left here anymore' i grabbed the box with the panda in it and placed it under my light in my bedroom I stood on the box and tied the rope onto the light and put my head through, I took a deep breath'i love you louis' I closed my eyes and kicked the box away.'shit!'
---------is this what its like? dead? that flashback repeating in your mind forever? I cant, I just cant keep on going through this, well I guess it's done, im gone-----------------------------------------
LOUIS' POV:
I was cradling her in my arms, this cant be it! 'this is all my fault' I mumble to myself, I look at her, every single detail about her, her eyes, were no longer to be seen, her hair,her long glossy, shiny, smooth her, like a gorgeous chocolate brown, wavy, not straight or curly just simply perfect, it wasn't even tangly at all, it smelt fruity and gorgeous, I love her hair, and I neer got the chance to tell her.her lips, so kissable, soft, shiny, smooth, a perfect peachy pink colour that suited her natural skin colour, she was perfect. I held her hand, stroking it, was this it?she was really gone?more tears came flooding down, she didn't move,budge ,or breath.i love her breath, a perfect tempreture, so fresh and minty all the time, and t was gone for good.her bedroom door opened , the paramedics were here I moved away straight away, I didn't want to argue with them this time, I just wanted them to get it over and done with, I placed her gently down on her bed and then I realised I kicked something, I looked to see what it was, a box, a box with the writing RIP on it, I kicked it again, it must have been heavier than just a cardboard box, I was right something as inside, I picked it up and opened it, it was the panda, the panda I won for her, on the week when, when.. they just came, the tears came flooding, by I made rivers I swear.i tookthe panda out the box and held it in my arms and hugged it, I smelt it smelt of her, the whole room does, I know she is in it but I will still miss the smell, I don't care if I look like a child hugging a toy giant panda but I did.
'sir, ple-'
'I know i'll go'i walked out the room'anything for her'i walked down the stairs, I walked memorising the house I have livedin a while with y/n, memories flied in when we first moved in, when I broke my arm from the deck chair,when y/n got fired and I was there for her and got her a new job, when I arrived back from the x factor, when me and her got together . that morning everything happened, she cut,real bad,nick dumped her, showed his true colours, I told her my feelings that I have had for years,y/n met the boys in the flesh, y/n fellout a tree, we went to hospital and she had an operation,wow. i'm going to miss her,no, I do already miss her, I cant live without her, I am nothing with out her.i collapsed ito my knee's, crying, out loud, why?why her? why not me?most importantly why us?
I slowly walked downstairs after I calmed down a bit, which wasn't that much, but I found harry and the other guys sitting there, in tears. they saw me walk past.liam looked up
'lou'he just about made out to say.i didn't say anything back, yes this was my fault, but if they were there for her, she wouldn't do this, she would hae stayed strong and not done this,but they didn't, I gave themthe silent treatment, gosh this is all my fsult if only I didn't take what she said too far, if only I idnt hold grudge.i picked my phone up and kept reading her texts over and over again.she left the locket on the table she said, I wi know i texted you but i am not sure if you got them but i knew you would come here to collect your things any way so i thought i would right you this, i love you Louis as a best friend, a friend, and in a romantical way, i am sorry things ended the way they did, i didn't mean what i said like that, i knew the promise was broken because you said even if we break apart we will still be best frends cos we cant ruin our friendship, but we have so i left the locket here, you can do what ever you want with it, throw it away, give it away or keep it, most likely throw it but i don't mind. bye with lots of love y/n xxalked over to it, it had a note beside it, it read :
i know i texted you but i am not sure if you got them but i knew you would come here to collect your things any way so i thought i would right you this, i love you Louis as a best friend, a friend, and in a romantical way, i am sorry things ended the way they did, i didn't mean what i said like that, i knew the promise was broken because you said even if we break apart we will still be best frends cos we cant ruin our friendship, but we have so i left the locket here, you can do what ever you want with it, throw it away, give it away or keep it, most likely throw it but i don't mind. bye with lots of love y/n xx
I broke the promise, I broke our promise. I placed the panda on the table and placed the locket around its neck, it just about fit. I am guarding this with my life, nothing shall ruin it, I shall never love again, ever.
YOUR POV:
i grabbed the box with the panda in it and placed buzz it under my light in my bedroom buzz I stood on the box and tied the buzz rope onto the light and put my head through,buzz I took a deep breath' I love you lou-
'huh'i gasped up in shock, breathing heavily, I could breath, I could breath, I was scared.people came up to me,strangers pushing my body down on the bed again.i was in hospital.
