STOCKHOLM ➵ tomlinson

fifteen

PLEASE READ THE UPDATE "please read. #PrayForBrussels" IF YOU HAVENT. ITS IMPORTANT. thank you.

this was originally gonna be Josephine but I decided it hold off for a while! hope u enjoyyyy

playlist:
I. The Scientist - Coldplay
II. Good Enough - Little Mix (doesn't relate but the music helps)
III. Funny - Tori Kelly
IV. Too Young - Sabrina Carpenter

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NIALL
friday, three days after

We get back into the car and I slide into the seat next to Liam. My heart thumps with the suspicion that our detective isn't actually helping us.

Liam pulls out of the car park. I begin breathing heavily. My mind is fuzzy and all I hear is buzzing.

"Niall?" Zayn asks. This causes Liam to look at me in the corner of his eyes.

I hyperventilate and it gets harder to breathe. The overwhelming thought suffocates me in my weak position and I know I'm about to break. I have to be strong though; nobody else has taken the position and I need Josie to know somebody had faith.

But it's too much.

"God dammit!" I scream as I slam my hand and punch the dashboard.

Liam's head whips my direction and his eyes open wide. Zayn jumps back in his seat.

I close my eyes and the complete pain set in. My heart dropped.

"We're gonna lose her," I cry out. "It's all my fault. I am the one to blame. I-I-I should've been there more. We made a promise. I-I can't--"

"Niall!" Zayn shakes me. I slap his hands away and he tries grabbing me. Liam struggles with finding a place to stop down and I can almost feel his fear and worry.

"You weren't the one who caused her to feel insecure about her body when you promised that you'd always be there for her!" I scream at them. My anger becomes so powerful and it seems that Liam and Zayn have turned into my punching bag. "No matter how she looked, she was still perfect because her heart was gold. I was too superficial to realize that. I've lost her compassionate soul! This is the same girl that cried whenever she stepped on flowers and apologized to the flowers. This is the same girl that gave her lunch and all the money she had to the children whose parents couldn't afford much, even though she had her eye on a dress and had an empty stomach. She can't be replaced. I put her through so much pain!"

It was silent in the car. Liam pulled over to a McDonalds and I cover my eyes. I know they're red and swelling fast.

"She was--is--my best friend though. I let her down. I didn't listen to her," Liam whispers. "Everyday I wake up guilty that I didn't listen. Maybe if I listened, she would've had someone to be with; maybe she wouldn't be gone. She probably felt alone and scared."

"No shit," I snort. "We all made her feel like crap. She went through hell alone, without what we did. But imagine everyone around you turning on you."

"I just assumed," Zayn admits. "I assumed that whatever problem she had managed to fall into, that it was her fault. I just wanted to be with her. But Harry had her. And she's too young. I was so mad, and I should've blamed Harry if anything. But it just seemed so right at the time."

By now, rain already started pouring down on us. Liam decides to drop us all off at home to be alone and drown in our new thoughts and information.

////////

I open the door to her room and it's like she never left. Suddenly I'm seven years old again and we're playing hide and seek. I touch the walls and can practically find myself immersed in the moment that she found me.

"I found you!" she giggles. I smile at her and her beautiful eyes shine with youth and innocence. I realize that I have to protect her from the monsters underneath our bed."

Monsters under the bed no longer made me us scared; it was the monsters living among us that were the most terrifying.

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