IKWYDLS

Love You Goodbye

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Camilas POV
A day later. Shawn was still the same. I was so worried.

-- --

The monitor beeped again and it was terrifying. Nurses, doctors, came running in his room. They didn't let me past the doors.

They started working on him again. God. His head was wrapped in a white cloth tight, held with some metal clips. His head had bruises and he had some stitches a little under his jawline.

-- --

They finally stopped working on him and the beeping from the monitors didn't sound.

I decided to go in his room and stay there. I walked in and slowly looked at him. I grabbed his hand. It was cut too. I started crying, the monitor next to him was beeping at a normal pace. It matched his breathing.

I slowly removed my hand but I felt an impulse. Shawn tightened his hand. He knows I'm here. "Shawn I love you. I'm sorry for everything that I have done. I love you, I didn't mean for you to get hurt, in any way. I know you can hear me. I love you so so much. Please be strong. Don't give up Shawn. Don't." I put my face on his chest.
"Please don't go" I felt him move.

-- --

More days passed and they said he was still the same. I finally decided to talk to him again.

"Shawn," I said crying, but trying to hold it in, "Be strong. I know you can do this, don't give up Shawn."

I kept crying but I held Shawns hand. I stayed there next to him on his bed.

Finally I heard him moan. I smiled. And my mouth slightly opened. "Hey," I say.

He smiled.

I got scared. He started breathing faster, and his eyes went all around. "Shawn?" I said quietly. He didn't respond. "Shawn!!" I went out to the hallway so quick. "Nurse?! Someone help! He's awake!" The nurses came and his parents stayed at the door. Shawn grabbed my hand with the only strength he had left in him.

"Camila." He spoke.

"Shawn" I cried.

"I love you," he said opening his eyes again.

"Shawn I love you too" I held his hand.

"Goodbye," he said. My heart started racing, I was terrified.

"NO SHAWN" i couldn't breathe.

His eyes closed one last time. By the time the nurses got in the room, the monitor next to him started beeping in one beat. I grabbed his face. "SHAWN, please don't go" I cried so much I couldn't keep my breathing evenly.

I held his hand again, but the nurses and doctors took me out. I was resisting, I tried holding on to Shawn but they didn't let me. They ended up carrying me out. "No!!!!!!" The doors closed.

Karen and Manny were waiting outside. I told them everything that happened.

I went home that day dropping everything. I didn't care about anything anymore. I felt so lonely. I started crying, I never really stopped. I stayed on my bed with all the tissue boxes I could find and used them all.

I was never gonna see that boy I loved so much. I was never going to smell his presence. I was never going to have little babies with him anymore. The world was completely over for me.

-- --
(1 day later)

I turned on the tv for some stupid reason I don't know why. I started crying again. Nothing and nobody will ever make me forget about Shawn. I didn't eat anything since Shawn left.

"Unfortunately we lost one of our favorite musicians in the world. I would like to take this time and remember him." I put my hand over my mouth. And tears fell from my face. There was a picture of him.

I knew he was dead, but my heart was never going to understand that. I was never going to function his death.

It wasn't real to me. Everyone kept telling me he was dead. But he was never going to leave me. He was never going to leave my heart. Ever.

I went on Twitter checking my notifications and I played an audio. "Shawn Mendes Died Yesterday In A Car Crash" I threw my phone across the room and started kicking and tossing. Hearing those words was an actual stab in the heart with a knife.

I was never going to accept him not being here. Of course he was. But spiritually I felt like every night he was there. In the room. Watching me as I slept.

I won't ever forget him, and he will forever be the only guy I'm in love with.. Forever. His last words run through my head and leave chills around my whole body.
I Love You Goodbye