Human Again (A Jeff the Killer story)

23. Changes

Hi everyone! Thanks for being here once again. I do hope you're going to like this chapter. Jeff's feelings are slowly evolving, and I hope I'm not changing him too fast.
Please vote, comment and tell me what you think about it, as it's really important to me to know your advice and feelings!
Enjoy,
Xx

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Jeff's pov

I run as far as I can from Emilie's room. I need to leave it, I can't stay one more minute next to her, or else I might lose my mind again.

I leave the house, run to the garden, then to the woods. I'm only slowing down when I feel my heart aching, my breath stopping and my knees trembling. I even fell on the dirty ground from exhaustion after all this time running away without stopping.
But I get up, and run, until I fall again 2 meters away. It's hard getting up again and start once more. Each time is harder than the previous one, but I have to. I need to. I need to get away from her.

Every time I fall, I can see her face in front of my eyes, I can feel her presence in my mind, I can sense her perfume in my nose. It's like she's always here, tempting me.

What's happening to me?

Ever since that day when she told me that I couldn't kill her, things have been different in me, in my opinion about her.
I tried to avoid her as much as I could, even avoiding getting out of my room in the manor when I knew that she was out of hers. I was becoming crazy, even when I had sex with Amanda, a thought of her was stuck in my mind, preventing me to enjoy the moment.
She's changing me, in every possible way, and I hate it.

I can't even kill like I did before. I'm more...gentle. Less scary. Victims don't scream as before when they see me, and I don't enjoy killing them as much as I did. It's like my mind is always somewhere else, in that damn room with her.
Am I becoming...weak? Because of her?

I hate her with all my being. I hate everything about her. Her voice, her features, her stupid accent, her sassy mouth, her beautiful lips...damn it.

When she told me earlier than she wasn't scared of me, something in me snapped. Before, she feared me with all her being, and now nothing. Everyone is scared of Jeff The Killer! Why not her? I have to make her fear me again, I can't have her playing with me every time I see her. I should have killed her the first time I laid my eyes on her, in that park. Here I am now, running away and falling on the ground like a stupid person because of a stupid girl.
I don't know what's happening in me, and it's scaring me.

So I get up and run again. I swear I can see her standing between some trees, but each time I'm walking towards her shadow, it just fades away. She's haunting me, I'm cursed and I know it.
I decide to stay on the ground, looking at the sky and let my thoughts float.

When she kissed me earlier, I was so shocked. But I couldn't pull away, I just could't. It was stronger than me, I felt an electricity pulling me to her. It was ecstatic, even more than the feeling I have when I feel someone's life going away by my knife. This exact sensation was rushing in all of my veins, and I wanted her. Yes, I wanted her all to myself, to make her scream like she never did before, to replace her sassy comments by pleasure ones and I wanted her to look at me like she has never looked at someone. I wanted to control her, to have the power in my hands. I wanted to hurt her in the best way possible.

And I still do.

But here I am, on the dirty ground, preventing myself from seeing her every time I look somewhere. Am I becoming obsessed? Me? To a stupid girl like her?
No way.

It's just a game. It has reached a new level, that's all. And I'm going to play it. Even if it makes me want her more. Even if it hurts me. Because it will. She's already hurting me by making me feel this way, and she sometimes hurts me more by replacing my fury with sadness.
She has found my soft spots more than once, and it's becoming dangerous for me to be near her. Sometimes, I find myself eager to end the game, to kill her right now and find a new toy. But I can't, I've grown addicted to our conversations, to her fears, to her control over me - even if I hate it.
We both have changed. Those kisses have signed the end of me.

Tired of being alone in the woods, I get up and head to the city. It takes me more than an hour to walk to Chicago, but I have to change my mind. I feel the urges to feel the adrenaline in my veins, to kill everyone who cross my path.

After one hour of walking and cursing Emilie in my mind, I finally arrive in a dark alley in the entrance of Chicago. I smile, it's the best place to kill someone without being heard or seen. It's already dark, and no one is out during a week day.
I wait patiently for long minutes before I spot my new victim. It's a young woman, perhaps 19 years old. She has long brown hair, and I can't help but think that she reminds me of Emilie.

Damn.
I need to stop these thoughts.

With an evil smile, I approach her. She doesn't hear or see me in the beginning, as she's walking with her eyes glued to her phone, like all young people do. When she passes me, I grab her by her arm, letting her phone drops to the floor, broken. She turns to me angrily, but her eyes widen in fear when she sees me.

Yes, fear me, fear for your useless life.

I feel the warming feeling rising in my chest and my urges to kill increasing. That's what I love the most in life, see my prey fearing and shivering. She tries to scream for help but I prevent her with my hand.

"Tssssh. Don't scream baby, it's just you and me here. We're going to have fun." I whisper in her ear, and I can feel her tears falling in my arm. I quickly turn her around and pin her against the wall, facing me. She closes her eyes from fear almost immediately, and I enjoy the view. She's so vulnerable, just like...

I pin my victim more against the wall from anger. No way she's going to interrupt my killing!
I grab my knife and do a small cut on the girl's cheek. She tries to scream and bite my hand, but I'm used to it, it's useless. I trace two small cuts to make her a Chelsea smile, just like mine, but less deep. She's becoming frantic and tries to kick me several time. The blood is pouring from both sides of her cheeks, and I can't help but find this...beautiful. I want to see her with all her blood and insides outside of her.
I then move my shoulder before preparing myself to stab her in the stomach to leave a deep cut which will get all of our blood pouring out of her.

"Now, Go to sleep." I tell her with my lowest voice. She cries harder and tries to push me with all she has - which is nothing.
I start to move slowly, with an evil smile on my face, to stab her but I freeze in place.

Her face.
Her arrogant smile.

She has this exact same arrogant smile than Emilie had some days ago. The scene replays in my head and I'm sure that I heard my victim says "We both know you can't kill me, Jeff."

I turn around and kick the wall as hard as I can, letting my fury on it.
Why?! Why is she hunting me?! I can kill her, I'll show her!
I punch the wall with my hands too, and I don't stop even when I hear bones cracking and see blood pouring out of multiples parts. My head is dizzy from my furious state but I don't care. Nothing matters anymore.

I head back to reality when I hear some heavy footsteps, which come from the girl that is running away.
Damn!
She's already meters away from me when I notice her, and I know that I can't get her before she leaves the alley and finds someone.

My fury is multiplied by 100 when I realize.
Me, Jeff The Killer, let someone escape for the first time.

All of that because of a girl.

What is she doing to me?