Human Again (A Jeff the Killer story)

44. Not afraid anymore

Emilie's pov

When I wake up, the first thing I feel is a patch around my neck, and a soft blanket on me. Then, I feel pain in every ounce of my body, and I remember everything. In a second, I get up, but I fell on the ground. I guess it wasn't a good idea.

"You should stay in that bed." I recognize Anders saying, watching me from the chair across the room.

I ignore him. "Where are Peter and Jeff?"

"Whow! Wait a second." He mocks me, but when he notices my serious gaze, he replies. "Peter is in the hospital, I successfully let him enter with fake papers. Jeff, on the other hand, is in his room. I couldn't let him go there, but I tried my best to help him."

I sigh in relief. They're better, great.

"How are they?" I continue.

"Well... Fine, if I can say. We can't visit Peter yet, but he's alive and he will live. But he may have sequels and perhaps lose one of his arms. There's an infection in his left shoulder."

I lay there in shock for a minute. Peter may lose his arm, because of me...

"Jeff isn't totally fine." Anders continues. "I've treated him as much as I can, and he should live too, but he hasn't waken up yet. Moreover, I don't know in which state he will wake up, as every muscles of his body has been damaged."

That's when I snap. I burst into tears, and after a while, Anders leaves me alone. They are both injured, and I feel responsible.
Moreover, my heart feels broken and I'm lost. After seeing Peter in that state, and realizing that I love Jeff, what should I do? Should I keep pretending to be happy with Peter and marry him? Should I go back to France and leave everyone? Or should I give Jeff a chance? I'm so lost...I guess I need to make a decision quickly.

**************

Four days have passed since my awakening. Jeff hasn't woken up, but Anders says he might soon. I'm glad he's going to be okay. I've visited him every day, watching him sleeping and trying to think about my situation. Peter, on the other hand, feels better and we can now visit him. Anders and I have driven to the hospital, to let me visit him. I'm so excited to finally see him again, but I'm so stressed too. I finally made my decision a day ago, and I'm so nervous right now. I still feel so bad about all that have happened, and I don't know how Peter will react. Moreover, Anders' men haven't found Gary yet, and I'm so scared that he might attack again. But we will find him, I know that.

Taking a deep breath, I slowly enter the white and empty hospital room, while Anders sits on a chair waiting for me.
Peter is already awake, sitting on his white bed and staring directly at me, like he has been expecting me to visit. I smile at him, but he just doesn't reply. His face is stoic, and that's only when I notice his puffy red eyes that I understand. Peter is really broken, he won't be the same anymore.

I carefully walk to him, kissing him on the lips quickly, but he doesn't seem to be with me. Or maybe it's me who is away?
I don't know anything anymore.

I then place the roses I bought in the early afternoon in the vase next to him, before breaking the awkward silence.

"How do you feel?" I caress his hair softly, trying to be lovely to him and cheer him up. But it feels so weird now, I know that everything has changed since his kidnapping, and since my meeting with Jeff.
Peter turns to look at me, but doesn't reply. He just nods his head to shrug it off, and it makes me sad. He doesn't want to talk to me anymore.