Make it to me.

Part 14

"I like the new hair"
"I like the new hair"

That's what runs through my head the rest of the day, ridiculous.

I'm pathetic, one hot guy tells me he likes my hair and I go home and think about what it really means, which is nothing.

I'm surprised he noticed though, I did dye my hair a bit lighter than usual yesterday. It wasn't much of a difference but that's the way I wanted it, slight change.

I get mad for thinking too much about the whole ordeal and push it to the back of my mind.

I decide to walk down to the baseball fields and finish watching the rest of Lukies practice.

On my way there I think about how he's gotten so good already, for his age he's pretty advanced.

I smile to myself, his huge beautiful green eyes that can get me to do anything and his blonde curls that I could run my hands through forever if he'd let me.

When I get to the field I look around and the first thing I see is my dad, I groan internally and considering leaving before he sees me.

Of course he's already seen me and calls me over, he's with the rest of the other dads.

They're in a crowd where he jokes and charms their pants off. He's good like that outside the house. Charismatic as fuck, knows how to make people laugh, gains friends easily.

I walk over and when I'm next to him he wraps an arm around my shoulder while I awkwardly stand there.

He continues talking and I feel like punching him, it's always been this way. Public image is everything to him.

I remember when me and Chloe would hang out, we had a bigger group of friends they'd always talk about how lucky I was to have both parents at home.

Little did they know that behind closed doors id get the shit beaten out of me without anyone defending me.

That my mom would watch and just walk away or turn the other direction in fear of causing an argument between them.

I remember being young and having my dad scream at my mom, yell profanities at her and as soon as we got to church he would smile and shake everyone's hand.

Walking along with his perfect family, his well behaved kids that hardly spoke and had good manners.

When I saw couples with young kids eating dinner at restaurants my mind didn't think it was cute instead it would go to a memory.

One of when my parents had fought in the car and when we got out he threw the ball of cash outside into the wind where it all scattered and flew everywhere while he drove away, my mom crying while me and Matt ran around trying to pick up the bills and some nice Hispanic men running over to help.

Walking inside the restaurant and sitting there quietly with tears streaming down my face and then having my dad come in and sit 5 minutes later and ask "What's wrong with you?" As if absolutely nothing had happened.

That's what no one would ever see. That's something they would never understand, just because you had 2 parents didn't make my life perfect, personally in my case it made everything worse.

My parents were toxic for each other

I get angry thinking about all of it and excuse myself while shoving my dads arm off of me.

I walk over to the fence and I watch Lukie practice, he looks over and sees me so he waves in excitement and flashes the biggest smile. I laugh and wave back, happy to see him enjoying himself.