Unwonted (Niall Horan)

Chapter 8 ~ Avoiding

Chapter 8 ― Avoiding

After we get back from sightseeing and shopping we’re all together again. It wasn’t bad but it wasn’t great either. All the time my mind was busy thinking of Alex and Zayn. I know he fancies her and they have so many things in common. At first sight you can totally see Zayn and Alex together, she fits so much more with him. He is more her style, he likes the same geeky things and I have no idea what she is talking about sometimes. I feel like I’m in a massive disadvantage and I’m scared he may use this day in his favour. Alex and I didn’t get to spend time completely alone yesterday, just a few minutes at night but then she left. And I’m really, really scared I did something stupid. Maybe that dream feels so real because I actually kissed her somehow while we were sleeping. Maybe that’s the reason why she is avoiding me, because come on! It’s more than obvious she is avoiding me and using Zayn as a kind of shield from me.

I try talking to her, asking her how she is feeling or something like that but she barely replies to me. She doesn’t meet my eyes and if I stand next to her she finds an excuse to walk away. What if I said something stupid while I was sleeping? Maybe I confessed what I feel for her and she got freaked out and that’s why she’s putting distance between us. Or maybe I did something totally inappropriate and she is plain mad at me.

Oh shit!

I’m actually freaking out in my mind and that’s why when they call us to sound-check I can’t be at ease. I have to go back because she is alone in the dressing room and this is my chance. So I burst inside, determined to know what’s going on. I need to apologise if I did something wrong. I don’t want her to be mad at me.

“Why are you avoiding me?” I ask and I know she is shocked I’m there.

“I’m–I’m not avoiding you,” she replies but that’s a big fat lie. “What makes you think that?”

“Well, I don’t know, the fact that every time I tried to talk to you, you practically run away like I had some kind of disease!” I cry out, getting really frustrated with the whole situation.

“It’s not that,” she whispers avoiding my eyes for a few seconds. She looks so conflicted but I don’t understand. What’s going on? Why can’t she tell me? “It’s just—” she starts but leaves the sentence hanging and I’m about to pull out my hair.

“Just what? Did I do something last night? That’s why you left and went to sleep alone. Whatever I did, I’m sorry, Alex. I was sleeping and I—” I mumble, tripping over my own words, trying to reach her so I can make her understand that I didn’t mean to offend her in any way. I was sleeping!

“You did nothing,” she says with a little smile but she only confuses me more.

“Then what?” I ask, desperation clear in my voice. Why can’t she just tell me what’s wrong?

“Nothing. Seriously, Niall, you can’t expect me to act normal these days. I won’t be completely rational nor I will understand myself. You thought women were complicated? Ha, you had to meet me on my period!” She jokes trying to lighten the mood but I don’t buy it, I can’t believe it’s only because of that.

I know women change when they have their period, some more than others and I’ve never seen Alex like this before, but she is only avoiding me today and yesterday she was so different. I can’t believe this is nothing, I refuse to believe it’s that. I know there has to be something else she doesn’t want to tell me.

She sees I’m not convinced with her answer so she smiles at me and takes my hand and when she does, I feel shivers going down my spine. “In a couple of days everything’s gonna be the same. You’ll see,” she promises and I close my eyes for a second, trying to calm down as I wrap her hands in mine.