It Wasn't Supposed To End This Way (A Starkid Fan Fiction)

Chapter 14-Dreams Have Ways Of Coming To Life

Chapter 14

I realized something about myself. I'm a great actress. No one knows why Dylan and I went to Pennsylvania, and we actually beat everyone home to New York. I've been chipper and happy and ignoring all negative questions. But each night, I lie in bed sobbing, texting Dylan to help me feel better. Poor Dylan. Dragged into all of this without warning. Our talks usually consist of me confiding in him about how I'm feeling, or we talk about how we could possibly get Jeff arrested or at least get a restraining order. But like I told Dylan back in Chicago, what do I tell everyone else? That I was bored, so I took out a restraining order on my ex? They might think I was insane, or that I just don't even wanna be in Starkid. But I do. So much. How do I hide these feelings? How have I hid these? I don't understand what to do anymore. I always promised myself I'd never tell anyone about my parents, not even Jeff. I'm still lying to Dylan as well. There was one more thing from that night that I haven't told him. And I won't. That isn't fair to anyone, not even me.

I'm surprised about one thing. How much I've confided in Dylan. I have never done this with anyone, not even Nicki. There's just something special about him. It makes me heart rush and my hands sweaty. Am I really falling this hard for Dylan Saunders? I don't understand it.

I keep going back and forth in my head trying to decide if I should talk to Dylan about my feelings for him or not. I don't want to ruin everything on the off chance that Dylan could love me, could accept me. But he has so far. He's accepted my flaws. He continually has my back, and has assured me he won't tell anyone about my parents. I don't want everything to be destroyed because I'm a fragile little thing. I lie to everyone so much, I want their trust and I can't even be trustworthy towards them. What a mess.

Then there's Jeff as well. I've had nightmares for the last few days, and each of them have had a different version of Jeff in them. I sometimes wonder what would have happened to Jeff had his father not passed away. Then I think about my parents, and at 16, I could have started drinking to stop the pain, or done drugs or some other way of torturing myself. But I don't think all of the drugs or booze in the world could have numbed me enough after my parents death. I wonder all the if Jeff had never started drinking we would even be together, or if I would have found another reason to break up with him. I really did love him, truly. He was suppose to be my husband, the man I'd wake up next to every morning and smile. He was suppose to be this amazing guy that everybody loved. He tells me he's sobered up...but what if he's been lying?

I roll over on my bed and grab my phone. It's three in the morning, not the most ideal time to text Dylan, but I need to talk to him. He lives too far away for me to sneak over to his place.

Alex: Dylan, wake up, this is important!!!

Dylan: I couldn't sleep. I've been up all night. What's wrong?

Alex: Any chance we could meet up?

Dylan: Umm, yeah, why?

Alex: We need to talk about Jeff.

Dylan: Meet outside the theater in twenty.

I don't hesitate. I pull the sheets off my body and immediately begin to shiver. Damn this late October weather. I get up and go to my dresser, sliding gracefully on the carpet. I reach in to grab my big white winter coat, then go to grab my gloves and my Uggs. I pull my hair in a pony tail, shove my boots onto my feet and grab my wallet and keys.

I exit my bedroom of the apartment to see Nicki asleep on the couch with her phone in one hand and the TV blinking. She must have muted it while she was on the phone. I hear her incoming text ring and she drops her phone to the ground, rolling over on the couch. I grab a blanket from the big black chair and cover her up. Then I grab Nicki's Galaxy S4 and pick it up. It's from Joey.