Catch Me If You Can

Chapter Three: At least it's not hard to clean up word vomit

Catch Me If You Can

Chapter Three: At least it's not hard to clean up word vomit

Halloween. Boo! Scary, hey? For me it was about as scary as a drunk fish: and as long as that fish wasn't a shark, it really wasn't scary.

Hell, I didn't even enjoy the dressing up part anymore; because let's be honest, Halloween didn't give you an excuse to go slutty, because normally the only people who dressed up like that were the people who were already slutty. And no offence, but I really felt no need to see up a skirt or shorts when the girl who was wearing them, just 'happened' to drop something.

That was about the same as saying their birth wasn't due to a broken piece of rubber -it's why I could never bungee jump. Think about it, if you come into the world because of a piece of rubber that broke, I don't really want to go out of the world because of the same thing. It was surprisingly, quite a disturbingly thought.

Anyway, it honestly didn't matter how much I hated seeing the disgusting view of a girl's bottom, that was normally more likely to resemble a camel's foot then an actual human organ (or whatever it was called, I seriously don't want to give the whole speech on reproduction right now).

But anyway it didn't matter because I literally had no choice in the matter. Apparently, deciding what I would do on Halloween wasn't my decision, and in fact Aubrey's. Aubrey Tanner was my best friend and we had been since we were in nappies, (or diapers) however, although we would always be best friends the amount I wanted to hit her right now was almost overwhelming.

"Jesus, Mona, stop complaining and put the stupid outfit on!" Aubrey whined and stamped her foot. Yes, she stamped her foot. Do I have to tell you, that she is 16 years old? 16, not 6.

"My ambition in life is to stay away from poles, any type preferably, and this outfit is not going to help me achieve that," I grimaced at her and Aubrey snorted.

"Does that mean you're going to be the 80 year old virgin? Because I do love you Mona, but that might be taking it a little too far," she frowned, and stretched out her hand which was holding onto the coat hanger with the outfit I was meant to wear. I wouldn't even call it an outfit -more like a scrap of clothing or underwear, but even underwear was probably a to modest description for it.

I sighed, "Aubrey, I like cats and I like food. However dressing up like a cat hoping it will help me get food is so wrong.I mean, this isn't even a cat! A cat has fur all over! Either that, or this cat has had a really bad run in with the waxing salon."

"But Mona!" She whined. "I never even told you what food you were trying to get."

I fake gagged and mentally face palmed, I probably should have seen that joke coming because after all I had kind of set it up for her.

Now, Aubrey is in no way one of the girls who flashes the whole world without even bending over, also she barely passed as a non-virgin and she was constantly worried that she would wake up one morning and she would be a virgin again because (and I quote) "the vagina loves sex and without it, it will shrivel up and die meaning that you are a virgin again." Of course that meant I probably had some wrinkly old gross stuff down 'there' and could no longer be saved but apparently Aubrey was safe. For now.

Yeah, that girl's brain was a mystery to everyone, even me, and I had known her almost my whole life.

So she stood in front of me, dressed in a blue leotard that was strapless and showed a fair amount of skin. She was also wearing a short black skirt and her blonde hair was left natural and straight. She wore with it, black shoes that had a gold buckle and a small heel and black smokey eye that made her blue eyes pop. She looked gorgeous but I still wasn't entirely sure what she was meant to be. Honestly, I doubt she knew either. Her facial expression ruined the whole look though because it was currently turned down into a scowl as her arm was outstretched, still holding the outfit I was meant to wear.