I Don't Care If It Will Break My Heart.

I Wasn't Prepared For This.

"I think we need to talk about this first, Chris," I said, breaking our kiss.

"Why?" He asked.

I sighed and stepped back. "Because you just come here and act like you can hold me and that'll make everything okay. Nothing is okay. Everything is wrong. We haven't worked through this."

"What else am I supposed to say Kari? I said I was sorry," he said, standing up as well.

"Why did you lie to me?" I asked.

He took a deep breath. "I know you know about Carlie."

"Yeah, and that's bullshit. You didn't even give me a chance because of her. Not everyone is like that Chris. She didn't realize what she had, but I did, and you weren't even mine. We had a good thing, it could've been better, but you threw it away because of her," I said, frustrated. If he really wanted to be with me, he needed to hear this.

"What did you expect me to do Kari? I didn't know that," he said.

"Yes you did," I said, getting worked up again. "She left you because of what? Your touring. You went on a tour when we had our, whatever the fuck you would consider it, and you know what I didn't do? Leave."

"But we weren't together," he said.

That made my voice rise. "We mine as well have been! It hurt me to see you go just as bad as if I was your girlfriend. You know that. I counted down the days till I got to see you again, that was all I cared about. Why would I be as stupid as her and leave when you're all that I thought about? You're everything I ever wanted, why would I leave you?"

"I didn't know that," he said softly, looking down at his hands.

"Yeah 'cause you didn't give me a chance," I responded.

"Yes I'm aware of that," he said, obviously frustrated. "Look, I fucked up. I know that, but since you left, I... you took a part of me with you. I love you, and I want to be with you."

"Well maybe I don't want to be with you," I said, in the heat of the moment. That was a lie. I don't know why I said it. I wanted him more than anything. He looked straight into my eyes, those beautiful brown eyes dark and full of hurt. He started to turn and walk towards the door. "Chris wait."

"I lost my chance, I get it," he said. I guess we weren't together after all.

I grabbed his hand and laced my fingers between his, gaining his attention immediately. I stepped towards him and put my free hand under his jaw line. He stared down at our hands.

"Look at me," I said, but he didn't, so I talked anyways. "I love you, you know that, and I miss you so much. I want to be with you, but you hurt me. Worse than anyone ever has."

"I know," he said low, pain evident in his voice.

I pushed his chin up so he was forced to look at me. "Don't do it again."

He let go of my hand and put his on my hips, pulling my body towards his. His lips were a few centimeters away from mine.

"Are you mine now?" He asked, a hint of a smirk on his lips.

"I'm gonna have to think about that," I said and smiled, wrapping my arms around his neck. After bringing our lips even closer together, I stopped, making sure my lips brushed his as I spoke. "Forever and always."

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Yay, they're together. I couldn't keep them apart any longer. It was killing me.