I Don't Care If It Will Break My Heart.

Chasing Something That's Behind Me.

"Kari? Where are you?" Manny's voice rang loud through the speaker of my phone as I walked.

"I'm walking to your house, where are you?" I asked.

"At the party," she said, extremely concerned. I hadn't even told her what happened yet. "I'll be home."

"Okay," I answered.

"And Kari," she started. "Don't do anything stupid."

"Alright," I said and hung up.

About three blocks away from Chris's I sat down on the sidewalk. My feet were killing me. These boots would be the death of me.

Why was I doing this? Chris said they were just talking, why didn't I believe him? I wanted to believe him. Maybe it was the alcohol.

I wiped my eyeliner-tear stained cheek and stood. My feet were gonna be so swollen tomorrow.

And why was I walking anyways? I had a car. I was stable enough to drive, I think.

So I walked casually back to where my car was parked in front of Chris's house. The lights were on in the house and I heard the faint sound of Himsa playing. I pulled my keys out of my pocket and got in. 

I pulled out into the street as a rain drop hit my windshield. Rain. Fucking perfect.

I sped away a little to quickly and started to go the long way to Manny's.

My mind was going a million miles an hour. I can't believe Chris would do that. Why did he even get with me if he still had feelings for her? That was wrong on his part, not mine. I don't think I did anything wrong. Well, maybe walking out.

I should've talked to him. Maybe I was over-reacting because of the alcohol. I just threw away what I wanted the most. Realization had set in. Look what you went and did Kari, my heart taunted. I mentally gave it the finger.

Fuck that! He still had feelings for her! He deserved me walking out! I don't deserve to be in a relationship with a guy who had feelings for someone else. I gave him my heart, I laid my world at his feet but he still wants her. This is bullshit.

I was so lost in my thoughts. I didn't even see a car coming straight at me. I swerved to the best of my ability and missed it, but I couldn't gain control of my car. I was going straight at the side of a bridge.

And everything went black.