One direction depression imagines

Your insecure/self harm *Long* (Harry)

*Requested*:)
**Warning! This ones kinda graphic so read at your own risk**

You tried not to listen to the hate. But every once in a while you can't help but read what people are saying about you.

Harry was at the studio for a couple hours, and that meant a lazy day for you. It was only 8am when you were awoken by your phone buzzing on the nightstand. You quickly roll over, only to discover that it was Twitter notifications.

"Y/n so fat! Harry's only with her because he knows nobody else could ever love her"

"Lose some weight you fucking cow!

"Y/n needs to go kill herself. Maybe we'll all get lucky and she won't wake up today!!"

Even as the tears streamed down your face you couldn't stop reading. 'Does Harry really think that?' 'Do I really look like that?' You askers yourself.

You were now sobbing as you sat up and threw your phone, hitting the wall.
You quickly untangled yourself from the dark covers and scrambled to the mirror. You turned to the side and lifted up your shirt, examining your protruding stomach, and the scars that littered your arms.

"They're right" You whispered in between sobs. You collapsed on the floor in a fetal position.

"I can't break the promise, I can't break the promise!" You kept repeating while rocking back and forth. "I'm sorry Harry." You whispered while getting up and racing to the bathroom.
You covered your mouth to hide the sobs as you quickly searched through the cabinets.
Then you found it. The one thing you needed most. Your razor.
You grabbed it and slid down the wall, pulling up your sleeve.

"this is for being worthless" you sobbed. You quickly dug the razor into your arm making a deep cut. The pain helped you forget about everything... For a little while.

******45 mins later*******

Your arms and stomach were covered in cuts and there was blood all over your body. You were about to make one more when you heard a gasp and looked up.
Harry was standing in the door way staring at you, with tears in his eyes.
You stood up with wide eyes and stared back, still holding the razor to your arm.

"Y/n you promised! You promised you would stop! How could you do this?!"

You were taken back by his harsh words as new unshed tears started forming in your eyes.
You pushed the razor deeper into your arm.

"N/y stop!!"
His eyes soften as he saw what you were doing. He quickly ran over to you, taking the razor and throwing it behind him. He pulled you into his arms, sinking to the floor.

"Noo Harry! Give it back!!"
You began hitting his chest sobbing, trying to break free to retrieve the razor.
"Hey hey hey, calm down baby. Its okay"

"No Harry! You don't understand I need it!! You said, struggling even more to get out of his arms.

"Shhh. Shhh baby calm down. I've got you."
He quickly pinned down your arms on the tile floor to stop your squirming. He help your wrists, and whispered reassuring words into your ear as you sobbed. He was careful not to hurt you or put any weight on you, as his knees were on either side of your stomach.

"Listening to me babe ok? Listen to my voice babe. You don't need it. Not while I'm here. I love you Okay? It's going to be alright baby."
Your crying soon died down as you laid there under Harry's grasp, gasping for air.

"Y/n I need to call my mum and Gemma to help me clean your cuts ok? I'm going to let go of your wrist but you have to stay still."
You obeyed, as Harry called his mom explaining everything.
He hung up and moved so he was no longer pinning you down.

"Im sorry Harry." You whispered as you sat you up and winced from the pain.
"You have nothing to be sorry for y/n! I'm sorry I was a dick and got mad, I should've been there for you." He said pulling you into his chest. Silent tears ran down his cheeks as he kissed your forehead.

"Harry?!" You heard his mum call from down stairs.

"In the bathroom!" He yelled back.
You heard multiple footsteps coming up the stairs. They both gasped when they saw but quickly came over to you.

"Harry lay her down on the floor. Gemma go get me the first aid kit."
Anne ordered.
Harry carefully laid you down as Gemma went to retrieve the first aid kit. She came back in a few minutes later holding alcohol, cotton, and gauze.

"Y/n this is going to hurt ok? I'm sorry but I need to clean them." You nodded as Anne dumped some alcohol on cotton.
She rubbed a cut on your arm and you quickly moved back.
Gemma scrambled quickly to hold your arm steady to clean it. She then wrapped it securely in gauze.

Harry help his hands around your face looking into your eyes the whole time. He could see you flinching but knew they had to be cleaned.
You let a single tear slip down you cheek as the alcohol seeped into a deep cut.
Harry quickly wiped the tear away and kissed your cheek.
"It's okay y/n. Your so strong baby. So strong. I love you so much."
He whispered after peppering your face with kisses.
***** 10 mins later******

"That was the last one." You heard Anne say.
Gemma quickly stood up to go put the supplies back.

"Harry go get her a sweatshirt and some baggy pants to wear."

Harry gentle let go of your face and rushed to go get you clothes.
"Thank you Anne." You whispered horsely.

"Of course dear. I'm glad I could help." She gave you a sad smile.
Harry came back in holding sweatpants and a sweatshirt.

"Take good care of her Harry, I love you both." Anne said walking out with Gemma by her side.
"love you too mum."

He carefully picked you up and brought you to the bedroom.
"Do you trust me?" He asked. You nodded knowing he was going to have to change you.
He gently pulled the shirt over your head and replaced it with the sweat shirt. He then grabbed the waist band of your pants and slid them down your legs, and helping you into sweat pants.
You stayed silent, not trusting your voice.

He carefully laid you back down on the bed and pulled you close.

"I'm so sorry Harry," you whispered "I never meant for it to go this far. I woke up and all this hate kept popping up and I didn't know what to do, and you weren't here! And I couldn't control mysel-" your voice cracked as you struggled to get out the words.

"Shhh baby. Don't worry about it,Go to sleep you need it darling. We'll talk about this later love."

"Harry?"

"Yes?"

"I love you. Please don't leave?"

"I would never leave beautiful. Never. No matter what happens and what battles we face, I'm not going anywhere,"
You closed your eyes listening to his kind words.
"I love you y/n. So damn much." Was the last thing you heard before sleep consumed you.

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I hope you guys enjoyed this one! It was extremely long & I spent a lot of time writing it!
Please comment and vote! And remember *requests are open!*

~Lauren🤘🏼👽