One direction depression imagines

Anorexia (Niall)

It has been a month since you last saw Niall when you dropped him off at the airport. His tour was 5 months long this time, & the distance was slowly killing you.

You knew you were never the skinniest girl, but Niall never seemed to notice.

You had a history of anorexia, when you were 14.You went through recovery and got better, but the thoughts still haunted you every day.
You wanted so badly to be perfect for him. Maybe then if you were perfect you wouldn't have to worry about Niall leaving you for somebody better.
________

It's been 2 months. 2 months since you last had a real meal. Occasionally you'll have a strawberry or something small to keep you going.

You quickly went from 130lbs to 105.6lbs. But it wasn't enough. You needed to be perfect for him, for yourself.
It started like any ordinary day, when you woke up you quickly reached for your water on the bedside table to quiet your growling stomach.
You got up to get dressed & do your makeup. You pulled your hair in a pony tail ready to go for a run, when there was a knock on the door.
You ran down the stairs to see who was there and when you opened the door you were surprised at who you saw staring back at you.

"Niall!" You screamed and jumped into his arms.
He quickly reacted and put his hands around you to keep you steady.
"Hey baby" he laughed. He stopped smiling when he noticed he could feel your spin sticking out of your back.
And he also noticed how light you were.

He set you down on your feet but knew that right now wasn't the time to bring it up.
"I thought you weren't coming back for a couple of weeks!" You said

"We had a break and I decided to surprise you," he gushed.
"What do you say we go out to dinner to celebrate babe?" He beamed.

"Umm... Or maybe just stay here? I've missed you so much we don't have to go out to celebrate!" You smiled, hoping he was convinced.

"Y/n what's going on, you love to eat out?"

"I just wanna stay home and enjoy the time we have we have together." You said looking down.

"I knew this was going to happen," He sighed sitting down on the couch. " I should've come back sooner. I should've been here for you"

"Niall what are you talking about? I'm fine. Nothing happened!"

"That's bullshit y/n. I saw how light you were. I know you haven't been eating. Was it because of the fans?" He asked looking up at you, "because if it was, they don't matter. I love you y/n. I can't sit here and watch you destroy yourself, please stop?" His whispered voice cracked as he struggled to get the words out.

"I don't know what you're talking about Niall. I am perfectly fine." You whispered the last sentence as tears threatened to spill over.

"Y/n, I can help you." He reached out to touch your cheek, "just let me in."

You turned away, afraid of what would happen if he really knew the truth.

"I said I'm fine! I'm the same person you left 2 months! Nothing has changed Niall!"

He stood up walking away as he shook his head.
"You know damn right that isn't true y/n!" He yelled, his back towards you.

He couldn't see the silent tears that were rushing down your face because you knew he was right.
You knew most definitely that you were Not the same person he knew 2 months ago.

Niall knew what was really happening. He just never thought a beautiful girl like you, his girl, would become this.

He turned back around when you didn't say anything else.
That's when he saw it. Your walls cracking, everything pouring out.

You sank to the floor sobbing, as he rushed over.

"I'm sorry!" You sobbed, "I'm sorry I'm not good enough! I'm trying! I can't do this anymore!" You yelled in hysterics.

"Shhh baby its okay. Shhh."

"No! It's not okay, It never was okay! I just want to be perfect! You deserve someone better. Just please, if you give me time I can be skinny enough, I just need more time! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" You cried

"Baby you are so perfect. You're all I ever want." He held you tighter whispering

"No no! You deserve someone beautiful! Not me, not me!"

"Baby listen I love you just the way you are. I love you just the same as I did before, weight dosent matter."

"Niall I need to be perfect for you! You deserve someone perfect!"

He didn't try to argue with you anymore as you cried in his arms. He picked you up & carried you into your shared bedroom, laying you down.

"shh baby" he whispered.

All that could be heard now was your quit hiccups.
"Y/n. You. Are. Perfect. You're prefect to me! You done need to gain or loose weight for me to love you! You could be 600lbs or 100, and I would still love you the same."

You nodded staring at the ceiling, knowing nothing he could say would convince you that you're worthy of his love.

"I'll help you get through this y/n"

You turned over leaning into his chest, "I know you will Niall. I know."

__________________________________________

Okay, so I know I already made a Niall Anorexia imagine but I love him sooooo:)))