One direction depression imagines

Selfharm (Louis)

It was the same every night he was away.
You'd sit outside at 3am watching the stars... Wishing that maybe tonight would be the night you'd disappear.

Smoking at 3am was the easiest way to escape. The burn scars that covered your arm would go unexplained even if someone did point them out, nobody knew you smoked.

Tonight was no different than last night or the night before, or the night before that. It had become a routine for you, it made you feel numb to the pain that this world caused you.

You help the cigarette to your lips, lighting it, and breathing in deeply.

You exhaled the white smoke, watching it float away and disappear in the chilly night sky.
In a way, you were glad Louis wasn't here to see the person you've become... The monster you've become.
You wish so badly that Louis had never left you here alone.

"I have no one," you whispered, "I need someone."

You brought the cigarette back up to your lips and took another deep breathe. You exhaled and closed your eyes tightly.
'I deserve this' you repeated in your head.

You brought the burning bud to your forearm before pressing it down and opening your eyes. You noticed the already small red circle that was forming on your arm where the burning cigarette had once been.

You again brought the bud back to your forearm before looking up at the stars and pushing it harder on your skin.

"What the hell is going on here?!"

You turned around quickly to see Louis standing by the door way with his arms crossed.

"Louis...," You breathed, "what are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here?! What are You doing here?! I expected my girl to be sleeping in bed so I could surprise her in the morning! And instead I come home to find you out here... Y/n why are you doing this?" He came over, lifting up your arm to examine it.

You quickly pulled back your arm.

"It dosen't matter just leave. That's all you ever do is leave me so just go already!"

"Y/n, you know I would stay if I could! I hate leaving you!"

You nodded, avoiding his gaze.
"I know," you whispered
"It's just so hard being here alone and I don't know what to do anymore!"
You feel on you knees and sobbed for all that you had become.

Louis quickly came down next to you and brought you into his arms.

"Hey shhhh baby. It's going to be okay I promise."

He picked you up and carried you into the living room, setting you on the couch.

"I'll never leave you again y/n I promise. You can come on every tour with me, whatever it takes to make you okay again. I'll do anything for you."

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Sorry, this kinda sucked.... Lol

Requests are open people!:)
Have a lovely day

-Lauren
P.s. Stay Punk