Flashback
"H-Harry.." I whisper, my voice shaky, and tears streaming down my chin.
"W-Why? Why don't you understand that I love you?" His voice cracks with every word as more and more tears fall. He grasps my hand, intertwining our fingers and my heart breaks with every squeeze he gives me.
"I do understand Harry. But I can't do this anymore. I can't handle this." The words roll off the tip of my tongue. My fingers loosen from his grasp as I try to let go.
"Please. Don't let me go." He tries to get closer which only causes me to back up. I rip my hands out of his grasp and run for the door. He doesn't run after me. I stop running once I shut the door to his apartment. My back slides down against the door as my bum hit the floor.
With every sob, scream, shout, and shatter I hear coming from Harry's apartment, the more frustrated I get. I claw at my eyes and let my hands slide to my forehead as my head falls to my knees that is pressed against my chest.
"I loved her..." I hear him whisper.
"I love her."
"I love you too."
Flashback End
It's been a month since the incident that caused Harry to break into bits and pieces. I remember it as if it were yesterday. I still remember the hot tears that strolled down his face with every word I spoke, his trembling lips, and his shaky voice that cracked every time he tried to stop me. But I couldn't handle it anymore. The distance, the hate, the attention. Being the shy girl I am, I never really liked the attention. All it did was put stress on my shoulder. And with every hate message, I was more and more convinced that Harry belongs with someone of his kind. Of his race. Not someone like me. Yes, many of his non coloured fans have told me to kill myself, that I'm not pretty enough to be with him, or that him and I don't 'match', and yes I've tried so hard to let it go, but it ways finds its way back to my head.
The hardest thing for me was distance. With the amount of time I spent alone as a child, I always wanted to grow old with someone who would be with me 24/7, but then I fell for Harry. With every hour, every day, every month that he is away, I only get closer and closer to my childhood nightmare. Being alone.
I snuggle into my couch as I flip through the channels of my tele trying to find something interesting, but my fingers freeze at one channel. The tele shows an interview with 5 boys that I recognize immediately. Zayn and his generosity, Liam and his sweetness, Louis and his humor, Niall and his laugh, but when my eyes meet his face, all I see is broken, shattered, Harry. Not the one I used to know, the flirty one who always found the good things in life and lived life to the fullest, and I could tell by the look of their faces that the boys were worried about him.
"So boys, other than Niall, all of you are taken right?" The interviewer asks. I watch as all the boys' aces fall and turn to Harry who's eyes are closed. His breathing grows heavy and I can see the concern on Niall's face as he pats Harry on the back.
"N-Not exactly. But we'd rather not talk ab-" Liam begins to try and take responsibility to protect the broken boy at the end of the couch but the interviewer doesn't stop at anything.
"Oh Harry, you and Deyja aren't together anymore? Fill us in on the details!" The interviewer smiles in excitement, probably only because if she gets this out of him, she'll get paid more money.
I look back to the boy who's head is hung low. Louis and Liam both give the interviewer death stares at her attempt to get the information out of Harry but immediately go back to worrying about their best friend.
"I-I'd rather not talk about it." His voice is raspy and shaky. Like the way his voice sounded that day. I watch closely to find a tear fall from his eyes and to his jeans.
"C'mon! Your fans deserve to know!" She encouraged.
"My fans don't deserve to know ANYTHING." He snaps, leaving all the boys wide eyed, including the interviewer. He forcefully stands up and rushed backstage and the boys end the interview, following right after.
I sigh, clicking the tele off before a knock on my front door startles me. I look in the mirror in the bathroom noticing how noticeable my red eyes are from all the crying. I assume that it's no one important and leave it be as I make my way back through the living room and to the from door. I unlock the door and turn the knob slowly looking up to where the face of whoever is here should be. But my body freezes at the. familiar green orbs, that have now turned a shade of red, that stare intently into mine.
"Y-You've been crying too?" He spits out and I quickly remember the redness in my eyes. I look down at my feet and nod slowly.
"May I please come in." He pleads.
I move over to the side and let him through. I watch as he removes his shoes and makes his way to my living room. He takes a seat on the couch and I sit beside him.
"D-Did you... Did you see the interview...?" He asks anxiously. Once again I nod slowly.
"Shit." He mumbles under his breath. He looks into my eyes and his hand finds its way to my cheek.
"I miss you. I can't stop thinking about you. Your face is in all I my dreams, my nightmares. Life without you is like a life with no sun nor moon. I need you. I want you Deyja." He whispers. My heart aches for his return, for his luscious pink lips to be pressed upon mine but I know I can't let it happen.
"I-I can't." I mumble.
"Yes you can. You can be with whoever you want. The fans don't know who you are but I do. And I love you." He says slowly. I look into his eyes ready to reject but I'm taken back by his next move.
He pressed his lips firmly against mine. Oh how I've missed this feeling, the feeling of tingles running up my spine, the feeling if butterflies erupting in my stomach. I can't reject the feeling I have inside that wants me to kiss him back, and so I do.
My hands find their way to his waist and I pull him closer. He deepens the kiss, climbing on top of me like he's done plenty of times before. My hands play with his hair as his travel throughout my body. He disconnects our lips staring into my eyes. Our panting is all that fills the room.
"Please. Tell me you won't ever let me go again." He pleads.
"I-I won't."
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I'm SOOOOO sorry it's late and it's not detailed enough and it's not dirty but I really want to update everyday and as if now, I haven't updated today and it's freaking 5:13am here and I haven't gotten a second of sleep. IM SOOOOOOOO SORRY DEYJA. PLEASE FORGIVE ME )';
I love all your sexy faces.
