It's been a few days since I saw you last
And there's a few things that I have to ask
So the first is, do I hold you back?
And did I fuck up too many times?
Found the bad I know you'd find
It had been almost a week since Jenna heard from her girlfriend. The last time they spoke, Tay told her that she didn't think things were working out. There was no explanation, she just said she needed space and time to think about their relationship and wanted to leave town for a bit.
Jenna completely respected that, she just wanted to know why.
"Can't we just talk about this?" Jenna begged her, knowing the chances of Tay complying were unlikely. It was the fifth time she'd called that week, and it was the first time Tay actually picked up the phone.
"I-I don't think we should," she replied.
"Can you at least tell me what's wrong?"
The other girl sighed before speaking, "Everything, Jenna. All we've been doing lately is argue, and it's becoming too much. I'm starting to wonder why I've let this go on for so long."
Just need some time and space
We've fallen out of place
But I pray to God we don't lose connection
Just need to see you smile
Or maybe stay a while
Before we lose all sense of direction
"So what are you saying?"
"I'm saying we need a break. I need time to think this over."
And who was Jenna to deny her that time?
"Take all the time you need. Just-just promise me we won't lose connection."
That was the last thing she wanted. She missed her to death and she didn't know what she'd do if she'd never heard from her again.
"I promise," she said, though Jenna couldn't help but notice how unsure she sounded.
Is it too late, too late to say
That I'm sorry for the things I do?
I'm missing you like shit today
As the world spins off its axis
Seems like it's brought me back here
To say, "Oh God, not this again"
Sleeping was never a problem for Jenna. She spent most of her time touring, and when she wasn't on tour, she and the guys were in the studio making music. She always busy, so whenever she had the opportunity to get some rest, she had no problem doing so. But lately, she had been finding it harder and harder to rest. Tay was no longer lying beside her and it was beginning to feel like the queen sized mattress was growing and was going to swallow her whole.
She was lonely, and all she wanted was to see Tay's face again. She would kill to be able to see her smile.
As more and more days passed and the hole in her heart began to grow. She found herself trying to apologize through texts, voicemails, and letters. She never sent any of them, though, because it was beginning to feel like it was too late to say sorry. Like she had fucked up and there was nothing she could do to fix whatever she had done.
It wasn't the first time they had gone through this. Just like all couples, they had their ups and downs. So when Tay announced that she needed time away and that she would be leaving town to think about things, the first thing she thought was "Not this again."
At the time, she didn't realize the gravity of her words. She didn't realize that "time away" meant months apart. None of that hit her until she actually left.
