Lilies

→ three ←

dear mom,

i met a boy today

his hair was striking red like a forest fire engulfed in chaos

so bright that like a moth to a flame i couldn't help but burn myself-

his green eyes were glassy, brimmed with tears threatening to overflow

sparkling like emeralds, standing out in a chest full of precious gems

and i was the lost pirate without a treasure map-

his freckles like night constellations or connect the dots

and i was the stargazer trying to see him through the telescope of my eyes

but what picture it would fabricate was still a mystery

he sat in my spot in the back corner of the library, invading my safe haven

where nobody else ever goes--the poetry section

i sat down with him, ham sandwich in hand

at first the silence was deafening as he sniffled and avoided my gaze

so i told him the only joke i know

'why did the turkey cross the road?'

'what?'

'because it wasn't chicken.'

there was a pause

and out comes this vociferous laugh

a real laugh full of snorts and chuckles and chortles that vibrate his whole body

not your fake high pitched giggles laced with lust that always won the guys over

but as if he had been woken up from a spell

and he was remembering again how to laugh for the first time in centuries

it made me smile--how genuine, raw, and unapologetic it was

enough that i almost forgot that it was your joke

i almost even laughed with him

almost

let it drift away that you wielded it like a weapon on me

a blade stained with the blood that was on your hands when you twisted it into people's backs

and into me whenever crescent marks embedded themselves in my palms

from clenching my tiny hands into fists for too long

seconds away from letting the words escape off of the tip of my tongue

lips about to slip

the alphabet soup too hot to swallow

because i caught you in the act

but,

then there was the joke

exploiting my thirst for your love and attention, making me feel special and close to you

as if we were in this together, as if we were partners in crime, as if we were on the same team in some type of twisted game

as if i owed it to you to keep your secret locked away

even though i had the key

but your charm doesn't work on me anymore

because life is no longer a board of chess

people are no longer pawns you can knock over with the flick of the wrist

you are no longer the queen

i became numb to the punchline a long time ago

checkmate

yours truly,

evelyn

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A/N:

Hey! How are all of you?

I've decided that I'm going to upload as I write, but before I upload I'll make sure I'm at least one chapter ahead so that I don't feel pressured.

Any and all feedback is appreciated.

Anyways, thanks for reading!

Don't forget to vote, comment, and follow, okay?

Love,

Kiana