Lilies

→ seven ←

Above: Road Runner & Coyote Cartoon

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dear mom,

today is jaden's birthday

he would have been eleven

did you remember?

february 13th

dad didn't

he was consumed by the hype of valentine's day

and his new girlfriend

whistling around the house, a skip in his step

he's happy

i guess that means

i'm supposed to be happy for him too

but i'm not

not because i want him to be with you

but because i thought that we would pick up the shattered pieces of our lives

together

but he's light-years ahead

leaving me in the dust as if he's road runner

and i'm the coyote

about to self-destruct like a stick of dynamite

still hurting

i bought a cupcake

and i went to his grave

i lit it with a candle

and i sang to jaden because he always loved my voice

it wasn't my place to make a wish

after all, it's his birthday

i guess it's another thing to ask him to forgive me for

and i know you're not supposed to tell

but

i wished i wasn't broken

i wished people would stop leaving me

i wished jaden would come home

he would be able to fix everything

you--

dispelling all of your fears of not being good enough for us

with the comfort of his warm hugs

thawing even the coldest hearts

dad--

igniting lost memories that he had long subdued to guard his heart

sparking remnants of his past by forcing him to remember

with the snap of his fingers

me--

wiping away my tears

with the glow of his smile

so blinding that it was like staring at the sun

if there's anyone who can

teach an old dog new tricks

a coyote to chase benevolence instead of greed

to hunt down those that are still lost rather than those that chose not to be found

to create beauty instead of destroy it

to make friends instead of enemies

it's jaden

because he brings light everywhere

initiating change through his complete and relentless faith in you

that made you want to be the person he thought you were

no matter what

he always trusted you

and maybe if he had been given the chance to grow up

it would have hurt him in the end

more specifically

you would have hurt him

betrayed his misplaced trust in you to be our mother

tainted his perception of the natural goodness of people

that's the only positive that came out of his death

at least he won't grow up like i did

at least his innocence and naivety was immortalized

and that i only have memories of his happiness rather than pain

it makes me feel a little more okay with the fact

that the coyote never catches the road runner

like i will never find the people i've lost

jaden, you, and now dad

because i always need them more than they need me

happy birthday, jaden

beep-beep

yours truly,

evelyn

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A/N:

Hello! I really liked this chapter, so I hope you did too. The plot didn't really progress, but I wanted to give some insight on Jaden. Also, the fact that she's not so much angry, but sad. She just uses her anger to hide it.

How do you think Jaden died? Is the MC selfish in not being happy for her father? Is she a coward for not initiating change herself?

As always, thanks for reading!

Don't forgot to vote, comment, and follow, okay? Don't be a silent reader :)

Love,

Kiana