a Stydia fanfic -'The way she looks at him' (REVERSED)

"I love you too Stiles Stilinkski, never forget it"

Stiles Point of View:

Everything Scott had said was true. I needed to talk to Lydia, but I didn't know how. I looked up at Scott and smiled, he had been here for me through everything; when I was bullied at school, he was there to stick up for me. When my mom died, Scott was here to keep me company. The silence between me and my dad became unbelievable. We didn't speak, and I learnt to fend for myself. I spent most my time at Scott's. Dad started working more and more hours, I think it's how he deals with things, by keeping busy. We occasionally went on a trip to the station but the car ride was full of silence, I didn't mind though, the silence seemed to connect us in a way words never could.

"Thankyou Scott, for everything." He smiled back at me "It's what brothers are for."

Scott stayed for a while longer. We played Call of Duty while we ate a ton of junk food. It felt good just to forget about things for a while, it was like old times. Scott would come round and we would play out side, pretending we were spaceships or robbers or spies. Then we would make a den and watch TV. It was so easier back then, you didn't have to worry about school or girls. Your biggest worry was which Power ranger you wanted to be. I miss being younger, and I miss having a Mom.

Scott eventually decided to go home. I decided I wanted to try get some sleep, I haven't been getting a lot lately. I tossed and turned for hours but it was no use, I just couldn't sleep. I needed to talk to Lydia. She'd been with Jackson a lot lately, I don't like it but I can't say anything considering I hurt her with Malia. Maybe she was doing it to make me jealous or maybe she's pushing me away, but I don't blame her, I'd do the same. I needed to speak to her, maybe I'd text her first, after all it was 2am.

To: Lydia
Hey Lyds, it's me. Can we talk?x

I didn't know what else to say, what do I say to her when I've broken her? About 5 minutes later my phone pinged, it was her.

From: Lydia
Oh you want to talk now?

It was obvious we weren't gonna get anywhere by texting she wasn't going to listen, I needed to see her. Even if she listens and doesn't forgive me, she or no one else can't say that I haven't tried. I pulled on a pair of jeans and a hoodie and I was out. I climbed in to my jeep and took a deep breath, this was now or never. I took the long route to Lydia's, I was nervous as it is. I wanted to turn round but I had to try. I finally got to Lydia's house. I turned off the engine and took a deep breath. This was it. I carefully stepped out of the jeep, trying not to slam the car door to hard as it was early in the morning. Lydia's driveway suddenly seemed so far away. I tiptoed up the path to the front door. A light was on downstairs, someone was watching the TV, probably Lydia with her movie nights. I heard giggling, Allison must of been there too. I wanted to go back to the Jeep but it was too late, I had already knocked. The landing light turned on and Allison opened the door. Her happy smile turned in to a shocked expression, they obviously wasn't expecting me. She bowed her head "I think you should go Stiles." I would beg if I had to, "Please Allison I just want to talk to Lydia!" She sighed, "Come in then." Lydia did not seem happy. She looked at Allison, then to me, then back to Allison. Allison shuffled her feet nervously "I'll be upstairs".

Lydia's Point of View:

I couldn't believe Stiles had come here. What was he doing for goodness sake? He just stared at his feet, not knowing what to say. If I didn't say something first we'd spend all night staring at each other. "Look Stiles, why are you here? What could you possibly want at 3am in the morning?" He took a deep breath, and sat down beginning to speak:
"Look Lydia. I don't know where to begin really. I really did like you honestly." I scoffed in the middle of his sentence. "You don't have to believe me but it's true. I don't think I'll ever be enough for you though and I was scared, I admit it I was scared. Scared that you would just leave me because the truth is Lydia, you deserve someone so much better than me. Then Malia happened and I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to hurt you Lydia, I don't want to hurt you, believe me. I didn't know who to choose, either way I was hurting someone." I interrupted him, I was too angry that care, "Oh lucky you Stiles, having two girls on the go, aw I bet it was hard for you to keep track!"
"No Lydia it wasn't like that, I thought I was doing the best for you by ignoring you, by leaving you alone, you wouldn't have to put up with me. Pathetic and useless me. I had the most perfect girl in front of me and I messed it up!" I mumbled, but it was loud enough for him to hear "Yeah you did mess up.."

He looked up at me, tears where in his eyes. But he didn't look the same to me. His eyes didn't have that sparkle just plain old brown. Him looking at me didn't make me blush or have butterflies in my stomach, flapping and making me uncomfortable. His hair didn't have the same shine, it just looked dull and lifeless. I didn't want to grab his soft lips and place them on mine, and I didn't want to bury myself in his chest.

I think that's the only way you can possibly describe unloving someone, when every reason I loved about him, every extraordinary detail becomes ordinary, and suddenly he's not special.

"Lydia, please forgive me. I know I've probably lost you as a girlfriend but I can't, I just can't loose you as a friend either." I pulled him in to a hug, "I forgive you Stiles, we said we would be friends forever back when we was little, and I won't break my promise." He hung back to me holding me tight, I pulled myself away from our hug.
"But Stiles, I can't be with you. I can't put myself through the heartache. It will always hurt to see you with someone else but it's a pain I'll have to deal with. I'm sorry but I just don't feel the same love towards you like I did before. I love you and I will always love you, but it's not like that. I care for us to much to let us get hurt like this again."
He wiped away the tears from his eyes and sniffed. He still looked sad but at the same time, he looked content and relieved. "I love you Lydia Martin." I smiled, "I love you too Stiles Stilinkski, never forget it."

He turned round and left my house, just like that. It hurt me to say all of it but it was best for me, and sometimes in this life, you have to do whats best for you not for everyone else, even if it means hurting the people you love...