"Saviour Will Be There..." ((Andley Fanfic))

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Ashley's POV:

​​​​​​I laid on the couch, wiping my eyes as I listened to Juliet finish talking with Jinxx. She entered the living room with a smile on her face, and I'll admit this was the only time I wanted to punch her. Just because Andy isn't her friend doesn't mean she should be all happy knowing be could be, and probably is dead. I'm surprised she hasn't walked right out the door after hearing everything Jinxx had said. She should hate me. Andy died because of me. For a split second I thought about joining him, I should die too. But I don't think I'd see him even then, I'd probably end up in hell for hurting him to the point of killing himself.

Juliet calmly sat next to me, rubbing my arm soothingly.

"Ashley, I just got off the phone with Jinxx, he wants me to tell you that Andy is okay. He's still unconscious, but the doctors say he'll make it."

"W-wait..what? He's okay?! I have to go see him! I-I need to..apologize for something..I don't know if I'll ever be able to fix it, but he at least needs to know I'm s-sorry.."

I jumped up and grabbed my shoes, heading for the front door. I glanced back to see Juliet still seated on the couch.

Her smile faded as she shook her head,

"There's something else I was supposed to tell you.. Your friend says Andy is being placed in a mental institution tomorrow morning..You can't see him today, but Jinxx told me you're welcome to come tomorrow, to say goodbye.."

My heart sank at hearing this, and as much as I felt like sobbing until my eyes were dry, which they still were, I couldn't cry. I couldn't scream to let out my anger. I couldn't do anything. I wasn't able to help Andy, I had failed at that long ago. And now that I have the chance to say sorry, to make things right, I can't. I knew that the first step to making things better would be to at least go see Andy, whether he was awake or not, just so I could later tell him I was there because I cared for him. Because I loved him. But now I can't. I was given so many chances, far too many that I didn't even deserve, and now it's too late. It seemed so cruel to avoid him for days, ignore him, pretend I didn't care because I was too prideful to accept the fact that he was hurting; hurting because of me, and what I did, and when I finally do see him it's only to watch as he's sent away to some unknown asylum. If he resented me before I'm sure he despises me now. That's okay, though. I think being hated would be much easier to cope with..

The rest of the day was horrible, and that's the least I could I say. The following night wasn't peaceful either, although I didn't expect it to be. I was tormented by my mind and the thoughts in it. I wanted to see Andy, but how could I after what I've done? He won't want to see me I'm sure of it.

I didn't want to do anything. I didn't want to think. I didn't want to feel. I didn't want to breathe. I didn't really want to live either. I found myself just lying there, in bed, alone, as I watched the minute hand on the clock on my night stand. I waited as seconds passed, and then minutes, which were replaced by hours. I didn't sleep at all that night, and it wasn't because Juliet hadn't back yet after leaving this afternoon. She wasn't that upset with me, she simply said she had errands to run, and suggested I could use some time to myself; If by that she meant leaving me to wallow in my self pity and overwhelming guilt, it wouldn't come as a surprise. Juliet knew I'd hurt Andy in some way, and when she asked about it, I told her we just had a few disagreements and such. She believed me, as reluctant as she may have been. Juliet also stated it was stupid of Andy to commit suicide over one silly argument, which is what she thinks all of this is about. I simply said it wasn't just one argument, and although he was difficult most of the time, I was to blame for what had happened. I still didn't tell her that we had been dating, or that I was hopelessly still in love with him. She didn't need to know that, though. Hell, I don't think Andy even needed to know. I didn't want to get his hopes up only for him to find out I'm dating someone and then hurt him all over again.