"Saviour Will Be There..." ((Andley Fanfic))

Chapter Thirteen

Andy's POV:

It had been about two weeks since Ashley confessed his love for me, and shortly after that asked me to be his boyfriend. I couldn't believe he chose me over any other girl or guy. He could have anyone, and he chose me. It still had me slightly suspicious. I try to believe him when he tells me he loves me, or when he says I'm beautiful. I try, but I just can't see it.. Maybe one day I will, and maybe one day I will be beautiful. In this past week I'd only lost five pounds, and I was extremely disappointed in myself. I knew I could have done so much better, but I ended up binging for the first time a few days ago, and that's probably why I didn't lose as much as I wanted. I had purged shortly after, and hoped that I didn't take in too many of the calories.
I was almost able to see my collarbones now, and my face seemed somewhat slimmer. This only motivated me, I knew that if I lost a few more pounds within this upcoming week, I'd probably be able to see my ribs. Which is what I wanted more than anything.

I haven't said anything to Ashley about my eating habits, but he continues to bother me about them. I don't know if he's keeping track of what I'm eating, but it seems as though he is. I usually just tell him that once we're off tour and not as busy I'll be sure to eat more. I feel bad for lying, I really do, but it'll be worth it once I'm thin. I'm sure Ashley will be thankful.

Once we're on break I'm going to try and be more active. I've been so worn out lately that all I do is sleep. When we're not onstage performing, I'm usually sleeping. Ashley has also been worrying about that as well. He actually tried to get me to agree on visting the doctor, saying he was concerned. It's nice that he cares..but I'm okay. My mind is a mess and I feel like shit pretty much everyday, but I'm okay. We have a concert tonight, and tomorrow we'll be heading home for a break. It's only about two weeks, and then we have to work on our upcoming album. I'll hopefully be spending those two weeks alone. I do appreciate Ashley's concern, but it'll be relieving to have him off my case for a while. I feel like he's constantly spying on me, waiting until I screw up so he can say 'I told you so.'

As I was I applying my make up for the concert, Ashley came up behind me, hugging me tightly and resting his head against my back.

"Hey Andy,"
He laughed into my back, his voice slightly muffled.

"What are you doing, Ash?"
I chuckled lightly and began fixing my hair.

We started messing around, and soon after, Jinxx was scolding us for wasting all the hair spray as we were spraying it at each other. Ashley whined and pulled me to the couch.

"Jinxx is no fun," he pouted, sitting in my lap.

I rolled my eyes playfully and hugged him, not too close because I didn't want him to feel how fat I was. Which he probably already had now that he insisted on sleeping in my bunk. I didn't mind that much, only because he held me and whispered sweet nothings in my ear until I fell asleep. The guys haven't been informed that we're together now, and we agreed on keeping it a secret until both of us were ready to tell them.

Ashley tried holding my hand as we headed for the stage, I would have let him, but there were people everywhere and Jake, Jinxx, and CC were right beside us. It felt awkward and I was slightly nervous about publicly displaying my affection for him. It wasn't like he had asked me to make out with him right then and there, it's simply that I'm still paranoid about people finding out. I don't want the fans to hate the band or Ashley because he's dating me.

​​​​Ashley pecked my lips quickly as he ran onstage, leaving me blushing and Jake staring at me strangely. I rushed onstage after Ashley and flicked the side of his head before walking up to my mic and waving at the large crowd.
I waited as the guys checked their guitars to make sure they were tuned and stuff. In The End began playing and I started to sing.