my compass. //l.p.&n.s.//

Chapter Five.

~Chapter Five.~

Persephone's POV

                       "Have you ever felt so much in love that you couldn't stop thinking about the other person? Keegan and I felt that way. He even gave me a promise ring. We were dating for about five years and it was magic. He and I were neighbors too, so we walked to school and walked home together every single day. Keegan would always be there when I was sick and I was there for him. Even his parents and I were close. He was going to be my prom date too. Then one week last year, he stopped talking for a while. He didn't wait for me to walk to school together, he didn't kiss me as much. It was like he wasn't even there.

                        I just thought he had family troubles going on, so I tried to talk to him. When I did though, he would ignore me or just snap at me. To say I was hurt was an understatement, but I didn't show that to him. I had to stay strong for Keegan. One day changed everything. I decided that on the weekend, May 15, 2012, I would walk to his house and talk to him about what was going on. So, I went inside since I had a key and I was going to try and talk to him, but I didn't just find him sitting on his bed reading his usual Batman comic books. I saw my beautiful Keegan hanging from the ceiling with a noose attached to his neck. A wooden chair was on the ground and there was a note on his bed." By this point, I was sobbing in Niall's arms and it was hard to control them. Telling the story about that day brought back the image of him hanging from the top of his room. 

               Oh how I wish I could've gone to his house earlier. I could've saved him. He could've still been my prince, my sweet prince. We could've gotten married in the future with children running around our house. Keegan and I even planned our future together. It was supposed to magical.

                 "You don't have to continue if you don't want to, Jewel. I completely understand." I love that nickname that Niall gave me. He doesn't understand though.

                "Oh, but you don't understand Niall. IT WAS MY FAULT! He killed himself because of me. He didn't talk to me because he thought I didn't love him anymore and that I was cheating on him. Keegan didn't think he was good enough for me, when I wasn't good enough for him. Its my fault and everyone knows that. That's why I get treated the way I do. I deserve it. The note said that people have been telling him that he wasn't good enough for me and that he should die. It also said that he got a note in his locker that said I was dating someone else and that I didn't love him. It said shit and he believed it. Why couldn't he just tell me that?! I could've told him it wasn't true! It was my fucking fault that I didn't get to his house fast enough! It was my fault he died and even his parents hate me for that. They believed the rumors and now I'm a slut and a whore and a bitch and filthy, pathetic thing."

                "Shut up! You are none of those things. You are a beautiful, smart, and admirable woman. I guess that's why Liam is in- Anyways, don't say those disgusting things about yourself. Its not true and it never will be. Don't deny it either. It wasn't your fault when Keegan, you know. You didn't actually do those things. It was the people that told him that. It was their fault and not yours, so don't beat yourself up for that. We know that he is in a better place now and that he is watching you from above." I heard that so many fucking times its not even funny. Of course I know he is a happy angel in heaven now. I know that. I know it wasn't literally my fault but it was at the same time. 

                I stood up from the ground and walked away from Niall. As soon as he saw me walking away, he raced after me. Then, he spun me around and grabbed me into a huge bear hug. I didn't realize that I had already stopped crying and hugged him back with the same amount of tightness. I needed this.