I Am, But I'm Not

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Like many many others, we may sometimes start to feel separated.
Like, I am a bad person, yet I'm not. I am acting, yet I'm not. I am hiding, yet I'm not. I'm lying to them all, yet I'm not. It's weird how all the "I am not" parts are what people see, and the "I am" is how I see myself. My self-esttem "diving" was supposed to have stopped, but I guess I was wrong. I am, I guess, a criminal for not being truthful. But am I really? Because like a tv channel, I'm only not broadcasting a news that people can't handle, or hurts them. Then again, I do good, but I don't. I give others what I don't have and put up with what I can't handle. All for not losing the ones I care for..something I realized only today for being to engrossed in the thought that I want to be alone, and only alone.
It's all just too complicated, un-understandable, unexplainable, and unexpressive.

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