What They Don't Know

Keeping Secrets

A few days had passed. We didn't talk of that night, or what had happened.
Until, we were making soup on a Wednesday afternoon, it had struck me that Carter still hadn't told me where he was that day.
"Hey, Where Were You Carter?"
I pulled on a heavy camouflage army-like jacket & zipped it up. It had the initials A.P sewed onto the right pocket. The jacket looked legitimate. It had probably belonged to a soldier or a soldiers family.
"What Do You Mean Riley?"
"A Few Nights Ago. Where Were You?"
"I Told You I Left To Look For You"
"Well Here's The Funny Thing. I Left Looking For You"
Carter didn't talk immediately after I said that. He continued to peel carrots and chop them up.
"What Are You On About?"
He didn't even look up at me as I spoke to him.
"Carter, You Left Me"
He stopped.
"I Didn't Leave You Riles"
I couldn't believe him. I had trudged miles in the snow & mud and over-night, looking for him. I risked my entire life to find him.
He turned back around to peel the rest of the carrots.
"Where Did You Go?" He asked.
"I Was Looking For You"
"Why?" He sounded annoyed.
"Carter? You Was Missing? I Thought You Was In Danger"
"You're Not My Mom Riley. I Was Fine. I Didn't Even Leave The Hotel"
Now I was close to tears. How dare he.
"No, I'm Not Your Mom. But You Know What? She's Gone And I'm All You Got Right Now. So Don't Be Such A Douche"
Tears began to race down my cheeks and I snuffled between words. I felt like Carter had changed, but I didn't know why.
Maybe he was like this all along and that friendship crap was all a big joke.
He dropped the knife and carrots.
"Riles-" he began.
I didn't let him finish, I had heard enough. Wiping my eyes I ran out of the room and up stairs to the second floor.
Now, tears were naturally flowing from my eyes. I was so hurt, not only by Carter but this was a build up of emotions.
It was from Carter lying, Dean leaving, Georgia betraying my trust and then her death. It was from being alone, knowing that there's no one who really cares, no one who will stay forever. Everyone leaves at one point, and it hurt.
I crawled up on the floor. My head was pounding and my heart ached.
I missed them. My parents, Dean and Georgia, Friends and even Enemies. I missed my life, before.
I heard Carter walking up the stairs, but I was in no position to listen to him.
I sat against the door, keeping it shut completely.
"Hey"
I heard him slide and sit down on the opposite side of the door. He sounded upset.
"Hi" I cried.
"Riley.." He began to tear up. I could tell he was sobbing as much as I was.
"Riley Don't Cry, Please"
He was hurt.
"Carter, I Thought You Were Dead"
As those words left my mouth, more tears fell onto my face. The thought of Carter being dead made me physically sick.
He didn't respond to what I had just said, he just sniffed a lot. He was trying to contain his tears.
"I, I Thought YOU Were Dead"
He eventually said.
I rubbed my eyes, did he really think I was the one in danger, or was he just playing?
I pulled open the door and saw him.
His hair was scruffy and his face was tear stained. His dark brown eyes were now blood shot red. He had stopped crying, probably because he had no more tears left.
He didn't look at me, he just kept his arms wrapped around his knees and his head tucked into them.
"Why Would You Think I Was Dead?"
He lifted his head and saw me sitting on my knees with my head tilted in confusion.
As he looked at me, he smiled. After, he began to cry again. Guilty crying, not sad crying.
"Riley, I Need To Tell You Something"
He bawled uncontrollably. I went to hug him, but he pushed my arm away.
"Carter?"