Everything's meant to be broken (Watty Awards 2013 Entry)

Broken Lies

   I toss and turn in my bed. I couldn't sleep at all. It had been 2 weeks since Kellin and I started dating. I had been incredibly happy. Kellin bought me a phone and took me shopping again.

Everything was perfect. Well almost everything. No one knew but my father had found me and has been torturing me.

He makes me meet him at hotels. He makes me do things that are far worse than I ever had to do while living with him. So far I have kept it hidden from Kellin and Vall. My dad told me if I said anything I would die. Today I have another meeting with him. Maybe that's why I can sleep. 

I get up and go to the bathroom. I open up the drawer and get my razor out. I had started cutting again but only in places were no one would see. Mainly my thighs and occasional arm cuts.

I make 3 quick cuts and I start to feel a bit better. Then my phones goes off. Of course its him.

"Hello?" I answer.

"I don't want to wait till tonight I wont you now." He says and hangs up.

I sigh. I hate him. I hate him so much. I go and put some clothes on. I put on my skull tee blue shorts and grey converse and black jacket. Then I grab the keys and leave.

I get into the car and drive to the motel. I go up to the normal room and knock on the door. My father opens the door and there are 4 guys with him. 

He grabs my arm roughly and rips off my jacket.

"Okay slut now slowly strip to your Bra and Panties." He says.

I slowly do what he wants wishing I could die.

   He walks over to me and slaps me so hard I fall to the ground.

"Your getting too fat stupid bitch!" He yells.

He calls his friends over ad they all take turns. They leave me on the ground broken and bruised.

"Don't get any fatter you ugly ass pig." My dad says as I pick up my clothes to leave. I just nod and run to my car. When I get to the car I just start crying.

Then Kellin calls. I take a couple deep breaths to calm myself down.

"Hello." I answer.

"Hey where are you?" He asks worried.

"I was out at the beach lookout and a few other places." I lie.

"Why so early?" He asks.

"Just wanted some fresh air, I'll be back soon." I say.

"Okay, see ya soon." He says.

"K bye." I say and hang up.

I hate hiding things but there is no way around it.

I take a couple more deep breaths and drive on home. 

I go inside and immediately take a shower. I just wanted to get every drop of him off of me. I stay in the shower for about an hour then I finally get out.

I put on a BVB tank and some black shorts. Then I go and sit in the living room.

I sit in there thinking. So now I'm to fat for him. I have to stop eating. I sit there thinking when Kellin comes in.

"Hey next time you leave please tell me I was worried sick." He says.

"I will I promise." I say with a smile. He hugs me.

I just feel guilty lying to him. I was thinking of telling him when Vall comes in.

"Hey peoples." She says sitting down.

"Hey." I say giving a small smile. I was lying to everyone. I am such a bad person. 

"I'm going to lay down." I say.

"Are you okay?" Vall asks.

"My head hurts." I say and rush upstairs.

I go into my room and lock the door. I lay on the bed and tears come pouring out my eyes.

I was lying to Kellin

I was lying to Vic and I was lying to Vall.

I was still cutting and here they think Im all peachy. I put my head in my pillows and scream.

Why the hell was all of this happening to me. I just wanted it all to go away. I knew what I needed to do.

Something I should have done a long time ago. But not today. I was going to do it tomorrow. I would be alone all day tomorrow. 

Kellin and Vic had a meeting. Vall was going out with Andy and Ash had somewhere to be. It would be perfect. I have a day to make my life as happy as possible. Even if it wasn't for the best reason.

I wipe my tears and put a smile on my face. I go downstairs and act happy.

"You know what, all of you are gonna be busy tomorrow so lets have fun today." I say.

"What do you have mind?" Vall asks.

"I dont know just lets have fun." I say.

"Well there is a carnival in town we could go." Kellin says.

"Yes lets go!!" I say.

"Okay well I'll ask Vic and Ash and Andy if they wanna go." He says.

"Awesome!" I say happy.

"Why the sudden happiness?" Vall asks.

"Headache went away and I'm bored." I say.

"Wierdo." Kellin says pulling me to him.

"I love you." I say.

"I love you too." He says.

I hug him and listen to his heartbeat.

"What are you doing?" He asks.

"LIstening to your heartbeat." I say. He smiles.

"Do you like that sound?" HE asks.

"Yes. I could fall asleep to it anyday." I say.

He leans down and kisses my forehead. I was gonna miss him.

"Okay well lets wake them up I wanna have fun." I say.

~2 hours Later~

   After we get them up and eat breakfast we head to the carnival. When we get there Ash is still bitching me out about waking him up.

"Sorry I just wanted to have some fun." I say.

He just rolls his eyes and puts on his sunglasses.

We go and get ride bands and then I see rides I wanna get on.

"Well what should we get on first?" Vic asks.

"Um how about the Ring of Fire?" I say.

Kellin agree's and we get on it. 

The ride was really fun and Vall spent the whole time saying Holy Shit Holy Shit.

After that we ride a few more rides and we split up. Vic and Vall go somewhere and Andy and Ash has BVB stuff so it was just me and Kellin.

"So is there anything you really want?" He asks.

"A bear." I say.

"Well tell me when you see one you want me to win you." He says.

We walk around and then I see a bear that has a sleeping with Sirens hoodie on it.

"Kellin I want that one." I say.

We walk over and the game is a ring toss game. Kellin plays 7 times before he finally wins the bear.

He gives it to me and I give him a huge hug.

"Thank you so much." 

"Your welcome." He says.

We walk around and sit and watch the fireworks. When we get home I go to sleep. 

I was just so happy I gave Kellin a good last day with me for Kellin to remember.