Tales of a Neverland Lost Girl

Boy

With a mind full of dreams and fists clenched, I've seen this boy do wonderful things. His words orbit my head like stars -- so beautiful yet so far away. I've seen this boy give comfort and shelter with his hands and security with his chest. I've seen him laugh at the face of fear and scoff at danger. I've seen him play poker with death and sip from the devil's liquor. But from all these gorgeous acts of dauntless behavior, I have seen this boy kill the innocent. I've seen him disregard love and the worth of a woman's tears. I've seen him objectify, sexualize and vandalize countless hearts that have let him live in their compassion.

His life is like a movie. It was all fast flashes of pictures arranged perfectly to tell a one-sided story of heroism. He wanted so desperately to be the hero but knew deep down he would have more fun being the villain. He moves from body to body, conquering spirits and rewarding himself for the scarlet letter he's painted so nicely on his back. He strategically placed it there to fool young dreamers into falling for his kiss. After the damage is done, they find themselves emotionally scarred at the sight of his letter as he walks away.

I've seen this boy fly though girls like it was all a game. The one with the most names on his list wins a crown made of plastic and a throne built off the bones of past girls who couldn't take the pain. I have seen the light dim in many of their eyes. In a few, I have seen their light vanish completely. Yet I find myself wrapped in his arms. I find myself smiling at the sweet nothings he whispers in my ear. I find myself under him with his lips on mine and our bodies intertwined. Ask me why I lie with him and I will simply blush. Watch closely and you might see the light begin to fade from my eyes as well. He is holding my heart in his hands. His hands that have murdered so many others. Little by little that boy is crushing it. In between his fingers you can see my cold blood dripping down onto his shoes.

Why have I set myself up? Well, little does he know I hold his heart behind my back. When he decides to break mine, I'll break his. So he can carry on with his irresponsible ways. Carry on with his lovers under the stairwells and in isolated corridors. I dare him to turn around and try to kill me. Because before he can think of striking, I will already have my stake through his beating flesh. 

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HOLY FUCK HELLO! I'M NOT DEAD!

Damn, it's been years. So much has happened. Life has changed, love has been a bitch, bitches have been bitches, I turned 16, the fire nation attack, I'm passing my classes, Alexander Hamilton is my boyfriend and a few friends were lost. Like goddamn. Shit needs to chill.

I can't sleep so I post this. I wrote it a few days ago. 

I'M WRITING A PLAY AND IT'S DOPE AS HELL IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF I'M ON PAGE 90 SOMETHING AND I'M NOT DONE YET AND I'M REALLY HYPE FOR IT

"Hamilton" is literally my favorite thing in the world rn. It's like my 3rd favorite musical. Ya'll should listen to it. 

Most of the sophomore class hates me and that's just dandy :) 

^that smile wasn't genuine btw

   But anyway, enjoy this.

-m