Finding My Feet

Chapter Seventeen

The next few weeks after that, Reegan had gotten into the habit of fetching me from school. Even though the car was mostly filled with an extremely strained silence, I was grateful. Sage and Avery were more attentive now than ever since I told them about that car ride. Sage had flipped her shit when I told her about us kissing. Avery had a confused look on her face.
I had decided to ignore Kelly's snarky comments whenever I walked passed. Clearly my hits didn't teach her anything, though she did come to school the days after with bruises everywhere.
My mom had said to me, after I told her what happened with Reegan and I, that I should just focus on school now seeing as it was my final year. I agreed with her. The next day she was overjoyed seeing me getting out of Reegan's car after he fetched me.
I sighed, closing my locker and turning to my friend.
"Jake was so peeved, it was quite amazing," Avery laughed.
"That's great," I smiled.
"You weren't listening, were you?" She smiled ruefully at me.
"I'm sorry, Avery. What were you saying?" I began walking with her.
"Just another one of my stories again," she waved her hand. "What's going on?"
"I feel like people are making my choices for me," I sigh. "I don't feel like I'm doing what I want to do."
Her mouth set into a straight line as she looked deep in thought.
"You're right, we have sort of been pushing you in one direction and then in another direction, I'm sorry," she sighed. "But what do you want to do?"
"I don't even know," I said, frustrated. "I just want peace. I don't want to constantly be walking on egg shells with Reegan and I don't want to be glancing over my shoulder every time I'm in the hallway to see if Kelly is spying on me."
Avery nodded, sitting down at a desk. I loosened the knobs on my braces before falling into my own chair. Other students starting filing in and I looked over at Avery to see she was lost in thought.
I shook my head, listening to the teacher drone on about algebra.
Half an hour later, a note landed on my desk and I looked over at Avery as she concentrated on what he was saying.
'Why don't you ask him about what really happened? The whole cheating story, I mean. You've only heard it from us and maybe your mind could be made up if you know everything.'
I quickly scribbled down a reply.
'Well he already told me that the first time he actually wanted it. That hurt a lot. If I hear the rest of the story, I'll just be hurt more.'
I tossed it onto her desk, focusing on my work again. She shoved the note back to me after a few seconds.
'You wouldn't know if you'd be hurt or not, dumbass. You don't know the story! I know I'm telling you what to do right now and you don't want that but it might actually help.'
I sighed, crumpling up the paper. Avery had a good point. I didn't know the entire story yet, of why they live together, what actually happened, nothing. I guess I could ask him in the car this afternoon but what happened if he got defensive? Or didn't want to tell me?
The bell rang and I packed up my belongings, shoving them into my bag before tightening the knobs on my braces and getting up with the help of Avery.
"Are you going to at least think about what I said?" She asks, falling into a slow walk with me.
"I have been thinking. What if he doesn't tell me?" I shrug.
She comes to a stop abruptly, spinning to look at me.
"Enough with these 'what ifs'. Stop thinking about what if, what if, what if. Just go and flipping do it, bitch. What if he doesn't tell you? Then that's that. What if he does? Then that's that. What if is gonna stay what if, if you don't go and actually do something about it," she shook her head, her eyebrows furrowing. "You're being negative about this and you shouldn't be. This should be something positive, Amber. You might get a glimpse of your old life back but all you can think of is what if."
My eyes widened slightly at her little lecture and I nodded.
"You're right, I'm sorry," we begin walking again. "I'll just do it."
"Good because I was about to slap you," she giggled.
We got into our next class, sitting down together again. I tuned into what my biology teacher was saying now, but my mind wandered to other things.
I guess it was finally time to ask him about everything that has happened. I hoped with my entire being that he didn't get angry at me for wanting to know out of the blue. Reegan could be a very understanding person though. And I knew that he would still do a lot for me, judging by that kiss we had shared.
I felt my face go red as I thought of it. The feel of him against me again was so much to handle. And I loved it. I loved the roughness of his stubble and the gentle tugging of his hands on my shirt. If he didn't end it, who knew where it could've lead?
I definitely wouldn't have sex in his car though, no matter how spacious the backseat was.
A note fluttered onto my arm and I quickly unfolded it as best I could with shaky hands.
'You're red as a tomato. What the hell are you thinking about?
Btw, there's a certain someone waiting by the parking lot. Look left.'
I turned to look out the window and sure enough, Reegan was leaning against his car, playing on his phone.
I heard the bell for the freshmen and sophomores ring and I urged for the remaining fifteen minutes to hurry up. It was quite stupid that freshman and sophomore got let out fifteen minutes earlier than juniors and seniors.
I turned to look out the window again. Reegan had stood up and was just about to open his car door, but he must of heard something as he looked around. I saw his face flush with disgust as he quickly hopped into his car.
Kelly jogged up to his car as best as she could in her high heels. He opened his window halfway to hear what she has to say.
His mouth moved quickly and it looked like he was shouting. Soon he shook his head, looking defeated. Kelly did a little dance and ran to the passenger side, getting in.
As the next bell rang and everyone packed up around me, I watched as Reegan drove off with Kelly.