To Whom it May Concern

To Whom it May Concern: Parents

I don't even know if Parents are the bullies or the person to protect you. They're supposed to make you happy but to be honest, I don't know anymore. Let's say if I wanted to wear shorts and a normal shirt to grandma's, I would have to change into a dress because "I'm a girl" and that I have to do girl things and dress like a girl.

But I'm not like what my parents want me to be. They used to dressed me up in dressed, girl clothes, do my nails, hair etc. Well... I'm sorry to disappoint, I'm a tomboy. Yea, I'll wear a dress every once in a while. I'll do my nails every once in a while. I hate it when I'm forced to wear a dress. My mom will force me to or she'll take away my phone. I have someone close to me and she knows more about me than my own family.

Yea, I overreact when she takes my phone but I can't talk to my family at all. I'll either be called: baby, overreacting, childish, too girly, etc. But no one understands how close we are (no we're not dating). People are different and I know my parent's haven't accepted that. To be honest, my mom is a bit childish. She wanted a girl because it took 3 times to get a girl. I have 4 brothers and I'm the 3rd child. I can't be a girl because I'm so used to being around boys all the time so I somewhat act like boy, or sit like a boy, or even dress like a boy. I can't be so girly and it's hard to make my parents happy when they want me to be someone I'm not.

Look, what I'm saying is that don't always listen to your parents. Even though they say that they're trying to help but be yourself. If you are a boy and want to dress like a girl, go for it. It doesn't matter if you are gay or not. If you are not gay but still want to dress like girl, still go for it. If you are a girl and want to dress like a boy, go for it. It doesn't matter if you're a "lesbian" or gay or bi, you can dress like you want. 

I'm sorry for ranting about this but my parent's went too far by forcing me to wear things I don't want to wear. My mom wanted me to be so girly that I went into a beauty pageant, I dressed into Cinderella or Ariel or any princesses for Halloween. I had pink cowboy boots. *sighs* I would be myself but... I just can't anymore. I haven't been myself for such a long time that I don't even know myself. I think the only time I'm myself, is when I'm with my friends. I can act like an idiot without being judge by them. I can dress like myself without being told to change. I can actually be myself.

My parents don't even know me and that hurts... I can't tell them how I feel. I tried to but ended up crying so they said I was acting like a baby. There is a reason why I hide in my room because I am AFRAID to come out. If I do come out, I'll get criticized from hiding in my room or I have to do ALL my brothers' chores. My brothers are lazy, I'm not afraid to admit that. I do admit that one of my brothers are not lazy but I clean dishes, a reading room we have, living room, my room, (sometimes) my mom's room. I'm the black sheep in my family, the yellow leaf in a pile of green leaves. If you don't understand what I'm trying to say then here's another way to say it:

I'M DIFFERENT

I'm the girl who watches youtubers. I'm the girl who plays video games.I'm the girl who eats junk food.I'm the girl who sees a dog and runs over to it to pet it.I'm the girl who would prefer to wear baggy clothes than tight and revealing ass clothes like a slut (sorry if you wear clothes like that, I'm not calling you a slut, just an example) I HATE make up. I understand if you want to wear make up, go for it. Some girls wear make up because their insecure. But, I'm not saying you are ugly with make up (Some people don't understand what I'm trying to say), you are gorgeous with AND without make up. I prefer girls without make up (No I'm lesbian). I just find girls more gorgeous without make up, girls are also gorgeous with make up but that's just my opinion. 

Okay, I'm getting off topic: Parents... I honestly don't know what to do about my parents. I would let my children wear what they want, I would let them act like they want, except public... Public is different because people are assholes. Well... Parents do care when your sick, I know that (I'm still recovering from a small surgery). There was something I wanted to say buuut.. I forgot so... Ugh, I feel like this is the longest I wrote but THERE IS SO MUCH TO SAY BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PUT IT! Okay, here's one way, your parents can EITHER be your BEST FRIEND or complete Satan... 

I have to admit, I am a daddy's girl. People think I'm a mommy's girl but I just can't. My actual dad (I have a step dad so.. :/) is a lot more nicer, understands that I don't dress like a girl. No, he doesn't spoil me. I understand I cross the line sometimes and he needs to yell at me, parents do that. But I get yelled at the most stupidest things when I'm with my mom. My dad understands that I get emotional a bit because girls are more sensitive and periods so...

I love my mom but I just... don't know anymore... I don't want to fight her. I don't want to yell at her. But she keeps forcing me to do things I don't want to do. *sighs* Forget it... I'm stuck with her until I can get money and afford an apartment. So... This was a waste of my time.

Just, don't EVER say "I hate you" to your parents. It hurts them more than you think. Cherish them. trust me, they won't always be around...