Anime lemons/one shots : requests

AC: Nagisa x Reader

AyumiKomaeda Sorry for making you wait so long. I wasn't really feeling the smut writing but I didn't want to make you wait much longer so I decided to do a feels one shot. If I get back into the spirit of smit writing I will do another one for you.

'Always remember to smile'

Nagisa had been through more than most in his life time. With his controlling mother, being kicked into E class, having to kill the one person who he formed a real bond with, followed by then growing distant from all his friends. Needless to say he had been through a lot.

But throughout everything, he had remembered to smile. Whenever his mother had her funny turns he would smile. When he got bumped down to the E class he always made sure to turn up with a smile on his face. When Koro-Sensei asked him to murder him, he did it with a smile despite the waterfalls flowing down his cheeks. When he lost all his friends as he dived deeper into his own self pity, he always carried himself with a smile.

It was one of the things I admired about him. His ability to always try and make everyone else happy, through him smiling. It was one of the things that made me fall desperately in love with him. But it was also the thing that was destroying our relationship. My inability to see when his smile was fake or genuine.

Right now I was sitting on our sofa hugging my knees, tears plopping down onto the fabric of my leggings. Nagisa had just stormed out after our latest fight. It had started out as me asking him if he was actually happy with what I had cooked for him. That was all. See how easily something so silly can destroy a relationship.

All I wanted was to see him smile once more. And it be a real smile. A smile that lit up his entire being. One that made his eyes twinkle, and my body tingle. But with him smiling to often it left no real reason for me to anymore.

Suddenly I heard the click of our lock and the sound of our door scraping across the plush carpet of our floor.
"(Y/n)?" I heard his smooth voice call out.
"Are you still awake?"

Not saying anything I tried wiping my eyes before he could see just how hard I had been crying. But the thing about living with someone who spent his schooling years training to be an assassin, they tend to notice the small things. Like the short erratic breaths, the occasional hiccup and the puffy sore red eyes.
"You've been crying" He states reaching hand out to try and wipe away my tears.

I flinch away from his hand. "Don't. Just don't pretend everything is okay"

"Why wouldn't it be?" He asked.

"You can't expect me to just forgive what's happened?"

"It was a silly fight about food. Why wouldn't we forgive eachother?" He asks confused.

"It's not just about the food! It's about your smile. The fact I can never tell if your smiling because you want to or you feel as if you have to! I have no idea if I make you happy anymore and I just can't do this anymore" I say my tears falling once more.

He just sits there and for once he isn't smiling. I watched as a single tear falls from his eye.
"Do you know what koro-Sensei last words to me were? He told me to keep on smiling. Smile through the plain and the heartache. So That's what I do, everyday I smile while the nightmares of what I did haunt me. Everyday I constantly remind myself to smile. Except when I'm with you.

When I'm with you I don't need to remember to smile. It's just a natural thing for me. Everything about you makes me happy. The way your nose crinkles at the edges. Or your eyes sparkle. The way your hair has that one bit at the front that always does what it wants. Everything about you makes me want to smile.

So please, don't ever think when I'm around you that smile isn't genuine. Because it always is around you. Want to know why? I love you. It's that simple. So don't say you can't do this anymore because without you, I don't have any reason to smile"

By the end of his speech I was crying. Tears of sadness and joy, all together creating one rather loud emotion moment. I collapsed into his shoulder, crying harder as I whispered 'I Promise' over and over again in to his shoulder.

And that is how we stayed until the sun came up a few hours later. We lay on the sofa wrapped in each other's arms. Not with smiles on our faces, but tears running down our cheeks. Finally we were able to let out all the pent up emotion we had been hiding behind our smiles. Finally we remembered that it's okay to cry.