You Can't Love Him

41

This morning I woke up expecting Noah to be next to me again. However, he was gone. I don't know why I expected it. He's always gone before I wake up.

I slowly roll out of bed and leave the room. As I entered the living room, I saw Jocelyn, Aaron, Collin, Will, Noah, and Hayden. They were eating chips and looked to be discussing something.

"Oh hey, you're all home." I greet them as I walk over to the couch.

"Hey E, how was your night alone?" Joc asks as she comes over and gives me a hug. I look over at Hayden and he shrinks back behind his brother. I also look at Noah and he smirks. I blush because I know what he's thinking.

"Uh, it was eventful." I smile and nod.

"So was mine." Jocelyn grins. I give her a 'what the hell look' and she just smiles. I hope she will keep everything to herself.

I decided to go sit down between Noah and Joc. It was the only free space. As soon as I sat down, Noah stood up and walked away from the couch. I give him a weird look but he doesn't meet my eye.

"We have to go." Noah tells Will, completely ignoring my presence. It was like last night never happened.

"What? We all just got here. Can't you stay for a little while?" Will asks. Noah shakes his head no.

"Hayden let's go." Hayden stands up and goes to his side. Noah goes around and tells everyone-except me- goodbye. After, he leaves right away.

"What the hell?" Aaron speaks confused. "I thought things were good between you two."

I shrug. "Last night he was fine."

"Wait he was here last night?" Will raises an eyebrow in questioning. I give him a small smile.

"Well something happened with Hayden. " I explain all the events of last night. Well, not all. Everyone still looked very confused.

"I don't know why we are all confused, this is normal for him." Collin points out. We all nod knowing that he is right. This is normal I guess. It's been this way since we first met.

"Should I give up?" My heart squeezes a little at the thought. I don't want to, but it feels like we get up and then fall back down. It's just a repeating cycle.

"Look maybe he just needs time to think about things." Jocelyn suggests.

"What is there to think about?"

"I don't know.." Joc looks down, now less confident with her suggestion.

"He stresses me out." I sigh and place my head in my hands.

"Look you are really stressed," Jocelyn basically rewards what I said. "Why don't you go do something that calms you down. Like writing?"

Writing does calm me down. It's like a stress reliever.

"Alright. I'll see you later then." I start to walk to my room when Jocelyn stops me.

"Can't you write out here? Don't leave me with these kids!" Joc jokes. I look at The boys. I actually forgot they were there while Jocelyn and I were talking.

"Wow. You don't want to hang out with me?" Aaron pouts causing Jocelyn to roll her eyes.

"Sorry Joc, I'm going to my favorite place to write. Im sure you can handle the 'children' for a couple hours." I laugh.