It's Us Against The World

Chapter 40

Nikki's POV

I just stood in front of the door after closing and locking it. Darius sat on the couch with his head buried in his hands. Neither one of us are speaking, leaving us in complete silence. A day or two ago I would be enjoying this silence, but right now I can't stand it and it's making me upset.

"So you just pulled me out of the club, made me come home, and for what? To sit in silence? Because if that's what it is then you didn't have to come in for me to be in silence at home while everyone is out doing their own thing. And you really didn't have to hit him or hit him repeatedly." I said crossing my arms as I rolled my eyes staring at him.

He lifted his head slowly and looked at me like I've just lost my mind, and I probably have. "Why the hell are you at the club dancing on other niggas?" He asked trying to stay calm. "Maybe it's because I wanted to have fun, or maybe it's because I knew you would come and pull me out of there.

I just need you to show me that you at least still care if not love me Darius. You walk out of here and expect me to be fine, well I'm not okay. You don't even care anymore, all you care about is for every bitch walking to end up in your bed." I shouted as I crossed my arms and tears filled my eyes.

"What the hell are you talking about?" He asked confused and a little aggravated. "You! You don't even care anymore! I gave you everything! You were my first love, first time, my first child's father, you are my first real heartbreak. What do you do in return? Hurt me, leave me, yell at me and for what? I don't fucking know. I just want you to give me what I want and that's love, and right now I just want you to leave. Because you don't care anymore!" I shouted as tears fell from my eyes.

"What the fuck Nicole? You wanted me to stay, I stayed. You wanted me to try to be the perfect boyfriend, I tried. Then you wanted me to leave, so I left. Then you wanted to end the relationship, so I ended it. Then you wanted space, so I gave you space. Now you want me to leave again while you cry about how I don't care?

I think you don't know what you want. I don't even know who you are anymore, who the fuck are you? You're not the same girl who walked into my mother's house on thanksgiving and helped cooked. You're not that shy and scared little girl who blushed at everything I said and did.

You're not the same girl who would hold me tight at night and say I love you. Your not that innocent, sweet, caring, and selfless person anymore. She didn't drink, she didn't party, she didn't yell all the damn time, she didn't always run from her problems and feelings.

What happened to that girl who was understanding, helpful, sweet, kind, generous, and happy? Because this right here isn't her. She use to run and sneak out to go on little dates with me afraid her only friend at the time would be upset she's dating her brother/ cousin.

She didn't bitch and whine about everything. She was strong, independent, and quiet. Not even having a friend like Keke could knock her off track. If Keke went out and partied, drunk, smoked, yelled, and bitched that girl didn't follow. All she tried to do was help.

Now you're acting like a whole other person. I'm not the one who's perspective changed along with their personality and morals, you are. That's why we aren't how we use to be because you want to be the bad girl now. I loved you the way you were before, so tell me, what happened?" He asked making me realize he's right.

I'm a completely different person now. Back then I wouldn't even dream of acting like this or being like this. Now this whole attitude is like a second nature to me.

I felt everything build up inside of me, the disappointment, sorrow, guilt, hurt, and most of all the pain. And without a warning I broke down and fell to my knees as I cried harder than I ever have.

Darius came and sat next to me and pulled me into his chest as I cried and beat on his chest. "I'm so sorry Darius, I don't know what happened to me. I guess the stress, guilt, and all the hurt on my shoulders sort of changed me. But I don't want to be this way. This isn't who I am, I just want to be me again.

Don't leave me, I promise I'll change. I promise, just don't leave me....don't leave me." I said as I cried. He just rubbed my back in a soothing manner. "I'm not going anywhere, I love you too much to ever leave you." He said before kissing the top of my head then picking me up.

He carried me bridal style to my room and laid me on the bed. He stood over me watching me and taking everything in. "Nicole don't you ever leave the house with something like this on, I promise you, you won't make it two steps out of the damn door." He said calmly but serious enough for me to know that he's being honest.

I just smiled and shook my head as I wiped my tears away. "Darius can you stay, just for tonight? I just want you to hold me." I said looking up at him. "I can't stay because I have to get back to Princess, but I'll stay until you fall asleep." He said climbing into bed with me. "That's good enough," I said tiredly as he wrapped me in his arms.

I guess all of the crying took a lot out of me because once his arms were around me and my eyes were closed, I was out. Lights out for me, I just wish Darius could stay all night.