Please... (Mavi/PTX)

8

A/N: Double for ObsessedwithTivi

Kevin drove me home in the morning so I could go and change my clothes before heading to college. He found me sitting on the couch, eyes wide, body slightly shaking. Ever since I woke up from the nightmare I couldn't go back to sleep, the imagines didn't leave my head and I could still feel my heart aching. The nightmare was just so vivid, Kevin had to talk to me for at least thirty minutes until I realized that I was alive and didn't really die.

He dropped me off and drove back home. I looked at my house, the beautiful architecture, the christmas decoration, the smoke rising from the chimney. Normal wasn't it? No. It was a luxury. I always knew that we were kind of rich or at least average. My family always had enough food, water and electricity. We had enough money to buy clothing, cars and games. We could afford to go onto a vacation in, I don't know, Australia. Didn't matter because money was not a question. I also knew that there were poor people living nearby. Those who had to rob for food or eat out of trashcans. Those families who slept on one mattress if they could find one. Thosewho struggled to keep their bodies warm in the winter, self made fires were not allowed in the city.

I took in my house in a different way today, comparing it to his. I couldn't control it but his broken house flashed in my inner eye every time I looked at a different item. My polished windows, decorated with christmas lights, his dirty and shattered ones. My door which contained a heartfelt "Come in" sign, his broken door frame. A jolly tune coming from the livingroom in which my mother was sitting, loud shouting and beating noises filling his neighborhood.

Sighing I took out my keys and opened the door, instantly meeting the marvellous aroma of fresh baked cookies. Too bad I felt like throwing up. Without greeting her I went upstairs to my room, falling onto my bed face first. The talk with my friends didn't help, we couldn't find a solution. Our only option was to try and become his friends. I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling.

"What would I give to be more than just your friend.."

Speaking to myself always gave me confidence and approval. I had admitted to myself that I wanted that guy to be in my life.. permanently. You might ask how I could think about something like that. Not knowing his name, his age, his hobbies and interests or why the man was treating him like that. I learned when I was younger that admiration from afar was often the cause of hopless crushes. Sometimes when people themselves are hurt and at the very end of their energy they look up to those who are strong and still going. They fall for them, not because they are in love but because they admire them for who they are and how they manage life. My case was the exact opposite. For someone, who had a perfect life, friends and a home, I felt attracted to that one person who got beaten and bruised before my eyes. I didn't only want to hug him as a friend, I wanted to kiss his fears and sorrows away. I wanted to hold him when he slept, I wanted to be there for him at all times. It was the first time I could really tell that I was in love, and not only admiring someone.

I stood up from my bed and opened my wardrobe, stocked with different articles of clothing, most of them high fashion although I didn't care about the labels. I threw a pair of jeans and a pullover on my bed before looking for other clothes. I packed the spare ones into my backpack and fixed my hair before leaving the bedroom and heading out to my car again.

My radio was turned off and I drove slowly since I had a lot of time to kill. Kirstie would drive with Kevin, Scott would come alone. I hoped they would be there when I arrived. While I made my way towards the facility I couldn't help but glance at the sidewalk. Somehow I wished I would see him walking there...

I didn't see him. Kind of disappointed I locked my car doors after parking and headed inside since my friends weren't there to greet me. Opening my locker I looked down the hall to where I had first seen him. I still remembered his facial expression when he saw us... me. I was the only one he stared at and I didn't know how to feel about that.. Was he scared because of me? Did I do something wrong? I shook me head slightly and stuffed my books inside the locker while some students entered the college. With the backpack in my hands I walked to my first lesson, jazz class. I wouldn't be able to see Kirstie, Scott and Kevin until the break but that was alright.

My mind would be somewhere else either way...

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#Yanie