Please... (Mavi/PTX)

10

It was as if the world had stopped moving for us. Everyone minded their business, eating, talking, worrying about something unnecessary while we, the student and I stared into each others eyes. His hands were clutched into fists, his knuckles turning white while his arms started to shake due to him tensing his muscles. I could see his lips trembling and I swear I heard his heart beating out of his chest. I had no idea what he was doing but it looked like he was trying to prepare himself just in case he had to defend himself.. although I would never hurt him.. 

My courage was gone. Speaking to him was difficult. I could cause a lot of damage if I did or said something wrong or slightly off, knowing what he was going through at home. Seeing him through a window and having the thought of bursting into the room in order to save him was a lot simpler than actually converse with him. His eyes never left mine, staring with such an intensity I could fall into a trance out of which I would never want to break out. Under all his scars and the bags under his eyes I could detect a beautiful young man, what he would look like with ordinary clothes?

Coming back to reality I felt the backpack in my hands and blinked a few times before moving slowly. I gave him a small smile to assure him nothing bad would happen and laid the backpack in front of him.

"I brought you some clothes. Please take them, it's a gift."

I walked back to where my friends were sitting and noticed that they had been observing us the whole time. Receiving encouraging smiles they admired my actions and praised me mentally, giving me the feeling that I had done the right thing. They started to eat again and I looked over at the student who had not touched my backpack but viewed it from every side. Then he lifted his shaking fingers and unzipped it, reveiling the clothes I had chosen for him. A pullover and a pair of jeans which would fit him perfectly. I didn't want him to freeze anymore and his dirty and bloody clothes belonged in the trash either way. Even from afar I could see tears shimmering in his eyes which he wiped away quickly. 

"Maybe you can join us?"

Kevin tapped me on the shoulder to get my attention. I turned my head away from the student and tried to understand what they were talking about. Something about hanging out at the frozen lake in the park. Even though I was a little reserved because of my dream I agreed, not wanting to leave my friends hanging. 

When I looked back at my previous focus I noticed that his seat was empty. He was gone. I frowned because I haven't caught his entire reaction when he received the clothes but I was happy on the inside when I saw that the backpack was gone with him. A small piece of paper laid folded next to my tray. I picked it up and wondered from whom that could've been. Unfolding it I saw a sloppy handwriting, as if a shaking hand had written it..

Thank you for the clothes but..we can't be friends. I'm sorry.

I didn't need a name to know who had written it. It was pretty obvious. The content was what made my stomach turn. We can't be friends. He clearly had motives but I couldn't remember anything I had done so he wouldn't want me as his friend. Furthermore I had helped him a few times except... the one time I spied on his home. Was that the reason he couldn't or didn't wanted to be friends with me? What happened after I ran away? I needed to know...

"Give me a second, I'm going to the bathroom."

They nodded and I slipped away from our table, out to the corridors. Brushing back my hair I let out a sigh as I opened the door to the bathroom. Closing the door of my cabin I sat down onto the floor and massaged my temples. Someone was in the one next to mine and I heard him zipping up his pants. Then I took in a noise I've already had heard too many times for my liking. The guy was whimpering, barely audible and kind of muffled. I waited until he opened his door before stepping out of my own cabin. I wanted to know why the student was crying and how I could help when I noticed that it was him. He was wearing the clothes I had picked for him. The pullover was way to big and the pants fell from his waist, showing how thin he was. Thinner than me and that really meant something. He locked his eyes with mine, his old clothes in his right hand, my backpack in the other one. 

"Why...why can't we be friends?"

I asked whispering. He shook his head ever so slightly and ran out of the bathroom, leaving me wondering and worrying.

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#Yanie