Please... (Mavi/PTX)

19

I had to ask him. Where he came from, where he would go. If there was a place for him on earth. In my heart he was always welcomed. There was a special place in my life reservated for him and him only.

Avi Kaplan.

The boy I saw in the corridor, standing at the lockers. Lost, broken, lonely.

The man I saw breaking down under the touch of a demon, breaking his wings, bit by bit.

The mystery about which we knew nothing. No past memories, no future to be seen.

His name was the key for everything. 

Avi Kaplan.

Who was the man torturing him? Was he a family member? His father, uncle, older brother? Was he the only one he had in his life? I didn't know and we couldn't find any information about his family anywhere. No articles, no photos. Nothing. Blank. It was as if he never had a family, never had someone else to run to, nowhere to escape without being caught and brought back to a home filled with pain and hurt. 

We searched through papers and websites. No one knew the man called Avi Kaplan. No registration number, no ID. Nothing. Blank. I didn't believe he was in this country illegally. Someone must've deleted any evidence of his existence, that he lived, that he was a human being. 

The older man.

No calls or threats. He didn't bother to come and get him. He was only "trash" and "wothless" either way..

Did he have illnesses we didn't know about? Besides his visible scars and bruises, was everything underneath them inpact? Did he have a mental breakdown he didn't tell us about? Why should he?

We didn't save him in time. I didn't save him in time. 

One second earlier, one step further, a little more courage and he wouldn't have gone through that one beating which could've cost his life. On the other hand...

What would've happened if I hadn't moved at all? Maybe he would still be there, threatened, beaten and assaulted day by day. No one who could hear him scream and cry in pain, no sound would emerge from his body. Caused by the strangulation, the sore throat, the popped vessels. Would he ever be able to speak a word? How many years have passed since he had said something? What was the last sentence he said?

Help me?

Goodbye?

I need you?

Don't leave me?

Please, stay?

Save whatever is left of me?

I didn't know. Everything was uncertain. When I saw his name on the screen my tears fell freely. Under the wings of God. Where was God when Avi needed him? Where was he when he cried for support and deliverence? Why did God turn his back towards one of his angels and let him fall, fall down towards earth where he landed on the cold hard ground. No one came by to save him. To lift him up and bring him home again. Instead he landed in hell. 

My brain immediately connected his name with everything bad that happened to people day by day. Whenever I saw someone being yelled at I saw him. Whenever I saw a child falling and crying I thought of him. Whenever I saw a person freezing and begging for someone to please come and give him something to eat, even the littlest thing, he appeared.

Avi Kaplan.

The boy who stole my heart with a single, frightened look. Even if there would be no future for us.. I would tell everyone about him. The way he looked, the way he moved. Even when he sat there was this childlike request in his posture. Eyes averted from the crowd and towards the ground, arms hugging his torso, mouth tightly shut. The silent question he wanted to ask every person in the room but knew he would get rejected.

Please, help me?

Would he take my hand if I offered it to him? Would he wait for someone else to save him? Was I good enough for him? Was I the one?

I left the group, they haven't spoken a word ever since Kevin had explain his name.

Avi Kaplan.

Opening the door to his bedroom there was this fear. The fear of uncertainty. I wanted to ask him, this one time, this only time. His answer would determine our fate and I would have to accept it. For him, for his mind and for his heart. I closed the door and sat in my usual spot, hands folded in my lap, eyes wandering from his feet up to his stomach, further to his upper arms and finally... to his eyes. He had been watching me the entire time and I didn't know if I was already used to that or creeped out.

"Hey."

The usual silence. What did I expect? Him to talk to me all over sudden? No. I but my tongue and thought one last time if I would dare to ask him this question. Should I? What if he said no? Would I be crushed? Would I throw him out? Yes, No.

I took a deep breath and whispered.

"Do you want me to help you?"

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#Yanie

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