Please... (Mavi/PTX)

13

A/N: Play the song..(I'm sorry..) + double..

He couldn't be gone! He just couldn't.. I barely knew him, only gave him a pair of clothes. I could've done so much more. I could've stepped in, I could've saved him but I didn't. I let him die, I left him alone when he needed me the most and now it was too late, my chance to change his life to the better was gone.

Lifting my head I blinked at his pale body, laying face down in the snow. His back did not rise, no breathing was visible. I was right, he was gone. The red paint drenched the ground around him in a sickening colour, it somehow looked like a painting. A painting I wanted to forget. Standing on my wobbly legs I approached him.

Every step hurt, he would never be able to walk again..

I breathed in sharply, thinking about the last breath he took, how painful it must've been..

Walking further, practically dragging me towards him felt like hell. He needed me. I failed him. Tears fell freely I didn't bother to wipe them away. Everyone should now that I was hurt, hurt and broken. I fell onto my knees in front of him, tears clouding my sight and rolling down my cheek.

"I'm so sorry.."

I whispered to him although he couldn't hear me.. he wouldn't be able to hear anything ever again. My hands covered my mouth, keeping myself to cry out loud. My body bend forward, everything inside me began to hurt and burn. Rocking back and forth I blamed myself for not saving him, not getting him out of there. I would never experience what being with him would be like. He would never experience what it meant to be loved by someone. Someone better than me because I was too selfish and let my friends drag me to the safety of the alleyway where we covered like a hord of small children. Gritting my teeth I let my hands fall from my mouth. They found their way towards his head, slowly stroking his tangled and bloody hair.

"It's my fault..."

If I would've stepped in a few minutes prior, if I would've taken him home with me he would've still been alive and not be lying on the ground, bleeding and dead. I carefully took his head in my hands and turned it into my direction, facing me. His skin was so pale, he seemed as if he had become one with the white snow. His bruises were black, blue and green, around his eyes and chin. A few cuts visible on his cheeks and lip. I brushed my thumb across his plump lips and took in the last warmth of it. He was so young, why did this happen to him? Why was he punished with this kind of life? Why was I not fast enough to save him? I trailed his bruised jawline with my index finger, stopping under his chin. Why did the innocent ones always get punished?

My heart was shattered, everything inside me was cold and broken.

What differed me from the dead? The fact that I was alive.

I took off my jacket with shaking hands, throwing it behind me, leaving me in my thin pullover. I slowly laid down next to him, the snow digging its coldness into my skin, making it burn instantly but I couldn't feel it. Inches away from his face was mine. We laid together in the snow, not touching just dying together. Only that he was already gone and I wasn't. What would I give to lend him a bit of my life so we could remain on earth, half dead and half alive. Maybe that was a stupid thought but when you're hurt you can't form proper thoughts.. His face looked so peaceful, as if he was only sleeping but I knew that was not the case. I touched his cheek with my now slightly blue fingers and caressed it. How many people had witnessed the death of a loved one? I couldn't say if he has ever been loved by anyone but I knew that my feelings towards him weren't only mutual..

I scooted closer, our noses now touching, his was unbelievably cold. The side of my body which was laying on the snow was frozen, the cold slowly creeping towards my heart.

"I love you.."

The last thing I would whisper to him. I didn't care if I had family or friends, I just wanted to be with him even if that meant leaving this pathetic earth. I let a tear escape from my eyes and fall onto the ground, vanishing within seconds. Closing my eyes and the space between us I kissed him for the first and last time. A small peck was enough to show the way I felt towards the boy who had left earth too soon.

I gulped heavily and opened my eyes only to met his tired ones, half open, looking at me. My brain stopped working, my heart haltered, my vitals didn't function anymore.

This couldn't be true.

"SCOTT!"

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#Yanie