November // n.h

iii

               T H R E E

“I’m sorry.” I utter. That’s all that has rushed through my mind for the past couple of minutes. Sitting on the couch, having Nina stare at me isn’t that comfortable. Right after yesterday when I was upset about the vinyl, I haven’t even talked to her. She just had to do her job and there was no particular reason for me being rude to her.

“Why?”

I look up at her and furrow my eyebrows. “For yesterday. You were just doing your job and I snapped at you…”

“No, you didn’t.” She tells me with a sincere smile causing confusion in my mind. “You just had a bad day, it’s normal, everyone has those days.”

See, that’s the thing that I love about her the most. Nina is one of those people that you can talk to about anything and she is not afraid of showing her weakness. She is not afraid of telling people how she feels and with her head held up high she can take any bullshit and still be polite.

Maybe that’s why we’re such good friends. Nina is the polite one, the forgiving one; I am the stubborn one. And no matter all the odds, she is like a sister to me. A sister that I have never had.

“Do you still have those nightmares?” She asks and I look down fidgeting with my hands. She knows about them and she recognizes me when I have had them. After all, they’ve been bugging me for a long time.

“I had one the night before. But last night, I didn’t dream at all.” I answer her a little shocked myself.

“That’s strange.” Nina words my thoughts and I nod lightly, still taken aback. They have been visiting me twenty-four-seven and now, for one day, I could actually sleep? For one day, I had the ability to fall asleep without worrying about waking up in an hour or two. And honestly, that has felt strange.

“And weirdly, I am not happy about it too. What could that mean?” I ask, finally looking up at the blue-eyed girl and she looks as lost, as I feel. She sees it in my eyes and hugs me. That sister hug to just reassure me that I am going to be alright. That I shouldn’t worry because my nightmares are gone. After all, they are nightmares and I should be jumping for joy that they’re gone! Then why am I not?

“But, what if it’s finally finished? What if you’re not going to have them anymore?” The girl pulls back and looks at me smiling. I don’t know if she’s trying to be a great friend by supporting me, or if she’s speaking honestly. I just don’t know anymore.

If the nightmares are really gone, does it finally mean that I can feel alive once more because I’ll wake up and fall asleep each day and night without worrying about my aching heart? Nina smiles again and all that I can think of is smile back. No words come to my head, to make a good enough answer.

“I met him at the beach.” I say finally, the smile fading. Nina rises her eyebrows, creasing her forehead. I don’t blame her for the confusion. After all, I just blurted out something that has nothing to do with my nightmares. About someone that has never appeared in one of them.

“Who are you talking about?” She asks finally. I have no idea if she was analysing that one sentence for the whole time that we kept quiet.

“That Blondie, Niall? I’m not sure of his name but he is the guy that I met at the beach.” I say shrugging. Actually, I didn’t meet him but you could say that because we talked – more like exchanged a couple of sentences. Plus, he watched me from afar and I still have no idea of how to take this.

“Really? Then how come you had no idea who he is?”

“At the beach, I actually didn’t pay much attention to his face. He just walked up to me and started talking about how pale I look. Creepy much?” Nina chuckles at my statement and I smile at her. This little talk makes my mood brighten up.