November // n.h

Epilogue: forever

               E P I L O G U E
               forever

It was the crowd that took control over my life. I owned them everything, feeling overwhelmed at it’s best but also at it’s worst.

It was overwhelming how people who called themselves our fans, knew every little detail about us and our lives. Still having the ability to blow one’s mind with the distance they were able to take, just to see myself and my mates perform live.

And even though I felt an unbelievable debt towards each and every single person that has helped us climb our way onto the top, I needed a break. Some time out to clear my mind and just enjoy everything that surrounded me and happened to be peaceful.

Old Grimsby seemed like a good enough place with a small amount of population, whilst the higher percentage of people who lived there were over their twenties, and our fans are mainly under that age, which somehow convinced me about the place itself.

Who knew, that buying a one way ticket to a small island could find me the love of my life? Taking notice of it now, stumbling across the person that happens to be Eve, has been the best thing that happened to me and I mean it with all my heart.

Maybe she has been a little harsh on me at first; not opening herself towards me at all, whilst I’ve been giving her my heart on my sleeve, but time makes the heart grow fond in which I guess, Eve needed a little more time than me to open up towards someone who she practically just met.

Yet, it was clear to me that the girl had it rough. Maybe no words left her mouth but her eyes told me everything that was meant to be said. And as soon as we became friends, I had the ability to notice how easy it was to make her happy and after a while, I decided to try and be the source of her happiness.

We got closer after a while, and on the inside of me a small thought began growing. What if Eve felt something towards me? What if she thought about me as often as I did about her? But I didn’t expect anything from her. I thought, that maybe giving her some time – allowing her to get used to me always being around her – would let her open up towards me. Tell me all her problems.

But it wasn’t Eve who told me about Danny. It was Nina.

And partly, I was glad she told me Eve’s past, the thing that is haunting her, but partly I wasn’t. It wasn’t Eve that told me her nightmare. Which meant that she didn’t trust me enough to tell me her past. Nevertheless that did not matter to me. I needed to let Eve know that I truly did care for her and who knew that it would be somewhat easy.

She did eventually trust me. It took some wine to help her gather the courage but she did tell me not to leave her. That was all I needed.

Once she was next to me in London, I felt whole again. When I was alone, there was a part of me missing and as cheesy as it sounds, Eve was that part that was missing. Once I hugged her at the airport, I felt better.

When she met the boys, I could tell that they liked her straight away. I know them good enough to understand the look on their faces and each of them had that something shown on their faces and it was an instance when I understood it completely.

In all honesty, I was glad that the lads liked Eve. They were like my brothers and to not get an approval of them would hurt me almost as if my actual brother would tell me that he doesn’t like Eve.

Yet I knew they clicked when after just few moments, Eve shared jokes with them and she was being herself. I could see that she was comfortable with them and when she smiled at me, I knew that I had done the right thing to invite her over for New Years.

It was shortly after New Years Eve, when I told her that I loved her. It wasn’t just a rush of adrenaline forcing me to tell her, those three words were something that I meant; it felt right to tell her how I truly felt because even though we were together for such a short amount of time, I knew her as a person for a little longer.

Of course, we do have our ups and downs but that is what keeps our relationship going; it makes us stronger. The smallest argument with that girl can make me realise how much she means to me. I’d be an idiot, if I’d ever let her go.

It’s not only the arguments that make me realise that I can’t take it all for granted, but it’s also the countless amount of death threats she has received throughout the past months that make me realise how strong she is herself. Whenever I ask her, how is it possible that she is so strong, all that I receive is a short-one worded answer and that is a simple ‘you’. But also a small, delicate and meaningful smile that I have seen many times before, yet it doesn’t lose the spark and beauty in itself.

She was beautiful, but not like those girls in the magazines. She was beautiful, for the way she thought. She was beautiful, for that sparkle in her eyes when she talked about something she loved. Beautiful, for her ability to make other people smile even if she was sad. No, she wasn’t beautiful for something as temporary as her looks. She was beautiful, deep down to her soul.

I wanted to tell everyone, I wanted to shout it out loud and make sure that everyone knew how beautiful Eve is to me; how much she means to me. But I couldn’t. I promised her that we would be careful, for her own sake. I agreed onto that because I didn’t want her to be harmed by any of my fans, I wanted her to feel safe with me.

And as soon as I walk through the doors of my flat, I smell freshly made coffee and I can hear the telly in the living room. As I walk through the corridor, my eyes come across a small figure lying underneath a really thick blanket with the mug in her hand.

As quietly as possible, I walk towards the couch and take a notice of the girl, her eyes fixed on the telly. Leaning down I kiss her temple and I notice a smile forming on her lips. Her eyes immediately turn my way and the smile that is plastered across her face is priceless.

I love her.

And as she sits up, kissing me ever so lightly, but most importantly through the kiss she shows me her emotions. That is until I hear her say, I love you to me for the very first time and I never knew that I could be so happy.