November // n.h

ix

               N I N E

It seems weird to walk inside the house at this time. Maybe last night was more different than tonight, but 7 in the evening is not the earliest hour, either. It’s like the last couple of hours went past in a blink of an eye and to be completely honest, I don’t mind. I needed something like this. A little talk about nothing and everything while the thoughts flood my mind.

I take my shoes off and look into the wardrobe mirror. For the first time in a while, I like what I see. Cheeks a little rosy, hair messed up but that is not the point in what I see. All that I seem to take notice of is the little details, not the picture itself and now, I can see myself beaming. My skin having the light colour of pink and it is almost unbelievable that I went from almost pale like a wall, to the light raspberry pink.

A smile creeps onto my lips as something tingles me on the inside. I start to brush through my hair with my fingers as I walk to the living room. The only thing that I can hear is the telly and something doesn’t feel right. The atmosphere doesn’t seem so good and I don’t know if I should turn around and just walk to my room or face whatever is coming at me.

In the end, I decide to take it all at me and walk through the door frame to just find my parents, a little annoyed. Both with arms crossed and as soon as they hear my footsteps, their eyes land on me. I gulp, thinking about the last minutes of my life and if I will have the chance to at least tell Nina that I love her.

We stare at each other, for a while. The silence filling our ears even though the telly is heard in the room, to me, it feels like it’s far away. I shift from one leg, to the other uncomfortably. Theirs glares are making everything worse. That tingling sensation in my stomach is long gone because of the worry of what might happen next.

“Where have you been?” My dad asks, breaking the silence. His eyes attached to my face as his lips are pressed together in a thin line. What should I tell him? The simple and honest answer will make it even worse because of the simple fact that I was with a guy. And it’s not even about the thing that I have spent my afternoon with a guy, it’s more into the bad influence and all. “Evaline Gray, answer me.”

“I was with a friend.” I tell them, leaving a little white lie along with it. Because it’s not like I can consider Niall a friend of mine. Maybe we have held hands, but it wasn’t in any personal way. He was holding my hand and I simply enjoyed the warmth.

“The same one that you have been with, last night?” My mum asks, looking up from the cup of tea in her hands. The pain in her eyes clear to me and my heart does ache when I see her like this. “Eve, please, can you just-“

“Mum, please stop.” I cut her off, feeling the pain rushing with the blood up to my cheeks. I know where she is going with her words. I know what she is trying to say and reminding me about all the happenings isn’t going to help me at all. No matter how she tries.

“No, you stop!” She places the cup on the table and stands up. The pain in her eyes disappears within seconds and for the first time in a while, I have no idea where all of this is going. “You have to move on! You have to start living again instead of grieving twenty-four seven.”

“Excuse me?” I utter, not believing the words she has just said.

“You heard your mother, Evaline. You need to grow up and move on.” He tells me. Harsh? I believe so. My parents have never acted this way towards me. They have never said such harsh words and after all that I’ve been through, they said they will be there to pick me up and help me carry on. Now, it seems as if they have given up and right now, they’re just pushing me forwards.