Naruto crossover part 2

I may be old

Buuuuuuuuuut

Before I do that, I hafta fix my little green spandex friend. Hidan was more than happy for me to try and fix his coils but when I told him of his condition he was a little less enthuseastic.

I did not tell him of my little plan.

I've been talking over the idea with tsu and she convinced the hyuga clan masters to teach me about the chakra paths in the body. Inoichi had also contributed.

Using his mind interrogation jutsu we've experimented enough that I can either see through a hyuga's activated byakugan, or have what they see displayed so I can see what's all being moved around as I work on the coils.

It's still a work in progress cause I can't do the immensely delicate work when I'm looking at it through a different perspective or at somthing displayed on a screen.

Wait a second.... THAT'S IT I HAS IT!!

"TSUUUUUUNAAAAAADEEEEE!! I AM A FUCKING GENIUS!!"

The tired blond looked up from her coils research.

"What it your brilliant idea now Mika, it better not be like your shit plan with sesshomaru."

I gave a hurt look. "We promised never to mention that."

I whispered at her, she sighed and motioned for me to continue.

"Okay so you know how we can project what a hyuga sees when their looking at chakra coils?"

She nods not following me.

"Kay, so I ruled out looking through a hyuga's eyes during the procedure, it doesn't work with me seeing what they see and doing the delicate work 'cause angles and shit plus the jutsu is complicated and chakra draining.

But what if we projected what a hyuga sees onto the body being worked on? I would be able to see every thing as I'm doing it and we wouldn't have seventy cases of hyuga's and Yamanakas with severe chakra exhaustion."

She thought about what I said for a few seconds and brightened considerably compared to her dull tired state before.

"That might actually work do you want to try it? I know Inoichi is free and a few anbu level hyuga's came in requesting missions earlier."

I nod vigorously, tsu sends summons for the hyuga she mentioned earlier and I run in search of my albino masochist nut.

-a brief search later-

I found him talking to Kakashi, both men seemed uncharacteristically depressed.

Racing towards then I picked up the words "caught her" "other man" and "broke up"

Skidding to a halt in front of them,

"So you finally caught the cheating whore I warned you about, broke up with her, and are depressingly bitching to the guy whooooooooo looks like he cares more that I thought he would"

I changed my last sentence as I saw hidan had a look of genuine concern displayed on his face.

Kakashi sighed, "I should have listened when you said you smelt other men's scent on keisei (keh-seh) ..." his shoulders slumped.

Patting his back aquwardly and watching silently as he walked away sadly, I whispered the the man still beside me.

"Dude I've never been in a proper relationship before but that skank hit pretty low."

Nodding his head in agreement he said

"Yeah, you have no fucking idea how bitches screw around with our damn hearts and feelings.... intentionally or not."

(Narrator)

And it was at this time, the completely oblivious Mikana Sarutobi missed the heartfelt and longing gaze directed at her. She was worried about her friend/brother and was plotting terrible ways to get revenge on the lying whore who hurt him.

(Back to mika)

I shook my head after my plotting and looked back to hidan.

"Oh yeah I came here to find you, tsunade is waiting for us. I thought of a way to do the coil surgery."

His face showed confusion before going red in frustration.

"YOU COULDN'T HAVE FUCKING MENTIONED THAT FIVE BLOODY FUCKING MINUTES A DAMN GO!?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose and muttered somthing I think sounded like.

"Fucking lucky your so damn fucking hot"

But that's probably wrong, either way he grabbed my hand and ran for the hokage office.

Strange..

My face feels slightly hot... am I getting a fever or somthing?

Whatever we got medicine to do.

We arrived back at tsu's office and she gave me a "really" look, smiling sheepishly we all teleported to the hospital.

"Shit, hidan before we start who of the people you know has the most similar chakra levels as you?"

He thought for a second, hand on his chin.

"Well when I'm fucking sacrificing to Jashin my damn levels get pretty fucking close to kisames. Otherwise I'd say the damn bastards Itachi and kukazu are fucking closest."

Nodding my head I turn to a chunnin walking bye,

"Hey kid I need you to run and find, Kisame Hoshigaki, Kukazu... somthing, and Itachi Uchiha."

The boy paled considerably but nodded and ran off. Hidan asked for the reason for summoning them.

"Well I'm perfectly confident in my knowledge of chakra coils and stuff, but they're just in case. If somthing looks a little weird and no one knows what it is we can use their bodies as an example to look off of.

You are also a special case as your a Jashinist which is the reason for kisame; all you guys have similar body types thank goodness, but kisame is the only one whose chakra can match yours if the demon your connected to acts up and makes things look off."

The totally clueless man nods with a vacant expression and let's himself be lead by nurses to prep for surgery.

Tsu leans over, "you know for all your idiotic moments, you can sound pretty ingenious sometimes, I never thought his demon connection might influence things."

I laugh slightly then grew a lewd grin. Tsu leans back at the sight.

"Hey I just realized somthing..."

Slightly hesitant, tsu asks what.

"I get to feel up the fish guy and Itachi mother fucking Uchiha... plus that kakuzu guy has a pretty nice body too."

She stares at me with a shocked expression as I give a full belly laugh.

"HEY! do not judge their all hot.... but my hand coouuuuuld "accidentally" slip during the whole ordeal."

Tsu remained frozen as I walked away.

"Oi I may be old enough to by your grandma twelve times over but I can still appreciate a good hot bod when I see one."

And that was how I left the hokage standing stock still in the middle of konoha ' s hospital lobby. While I walked away laughing like a crazed maniac.

Oh what the hell I am totally insane.