You Still There? (Larry Stylinson) *editing*

Chapter Six [Harry]

Chapter Six [Harry]

Wednesday, 8th February...

I was asleep for almost twelve hours. I guess I hadn't slept that much in the last few days and the alcohol did it's job. The problem was that I had a massive head ache and hated myself for drinking that much. But then again, at least I wasn't in such a weird mood anymore.

When I walked into the living room, Niall and Zayn were watching TV on the couch and Liam just came out of the kitchen. I groaned quietly and ran a hand through my hair. “Turn that off..”, I grumbled because the television was too loud for my head right now. Niall rolled his eyes and stuffed a few crisps into his mouth but turned the volume lower.

I sighed and sat down at the dinner table and rested my head in my hands. Liam placed a glass of water and some painkillers in front of me and sat down next to me.

“So you're writing emails with him?”, he asked quietly. I looked up, sighing and ran a hand through my hair before I took the medicine. “I write them.”, I corrected. “He..” I shrugged slightly and stared down at the table.

“Oh.. So you don't know anything from him.”, Liam replied. I shook my head and sighed. “I wish I would..”, I mumbled and leaned back. Liam nodded slightly. “Okay. Do you remember everything from yesterday night?” I just shrugged. “Guess so.” Liam sighed. “Harry, you're not going out again. Not alone and you're definitely not getting this drunk again.”, he said firmly, making me roll my eyes. “Yes, mum.” He just ignored it and sighed. “By the way, your mum called. Wanted to know if you're alright because you haven't talked to her for the last few days. I told her you'd call her later.” I nodded and told him I'd call her after I ate something.

So after I ate my breakfast – which was more lunch, considering the time and Niall actually stole more than half of it but I didn't mind because I wasn't that hungry anyway – I called my mum. She was extremely worried because apparently Liam told me we went out last night – he got a glare from me for that, but he just shrugged – and she always sensed that I really needed Louis in my life. She also asked about Louis' mum but I made a mental note to call her sometime.

We talked a little before she had to go somewhere. I didn't exactly catch where. Of course I tried to pay attention to her, but my mind was just empty and she had reminded me of so many things that I used to do with Louis.. I really missed him and all the things we did together. Even if it was just lying on the couch and watching TV together – Louis always commented about everything and made fun of everything – or just having Louis watching me cooking.

All these memories.. I needed to get them out of my head. And drinking was not an option after Liam and my mum basically forbid me to drink. I kind of agreed with them, I just didn't like people telling me what to do. Well, as long as they were not Louis. Louis could have told me to jump out of a window and I would have done it without hesitation.

I sighed and leaned back. “Hey Harry, wanna play FIFA with us or something?”, Zayn asked. I raised my eyes, which were set on the table before, and looked over to them. “C'mon it's better than just sitting there and waiting for nothing.”, Niall added. I ran a hand through my hair and nodded. “Alright.”, I agreed and got up, glad that my headache was bearable now.

So I played a few games with the others for about two hours until I got a call from my sister, Gemma. She told me she'd visit us in about three hours and take some food for dinner with her. She knew about my state and that's probably why she thought cooking together would be a good distraction for me. Niall, of course, was extremely happy to have us cooking and said he would stay for dinner. That's why I told her we'd be 6 people when I actually forgot that Louis wasn't there. She corrected me quietly and said that wouldn't be much of a problem. I was instantly reminded of Louis' absence again and I had a hard time acting as if I was happy or at least okay. No one said anything though and after a little chatting with my sister, we ended the call again.

I decided to clean up the kitchen – and more if I had time – and Liam helped me. I missed the carefree banter with Louis. Now I was there, having not given an actual smile since Louis was gone. If Louis was there, I'd smile the whole time just because he simply was there.

Before Gemma came, I quickly went back upstairs, wanting to write the email now. I didn't know if I'd get much of a chance to do it later so I decided it would be the best thing to do now.

I just wrote what came into my mind and I know it wasn't much but it was at least something. Besides, I couldn't even be sure that Louis read everything that I wrote. I just really hoped he did. And I wondered if he missed me as much as I missed him. I kind of hoped that Louis would miss me just as much. But I learned to hate hope by now. Hope was a bad thing when the things you hope never happen. That thought pulled me down even more and I couldn't let that happen now. Not when Gemma would be there soon. That girl could read my face like almost no one else. Why almost? Louis.

After I finished the email, I quickly went to the bathroom and made myself a little more presentable before I went back downstairs. Not even ten minutes later, Gemma was there. She hugged me and gave me a worried look. She looked kind of sad when told me she'd have to leave around 10 at the latest. I told her that was okay and gave her a small smile, leading her to the living room where she was greeted by the others before we went to the kitchen and started cooking. I wasn't exactly talkative because Louis wasn't there so she mostly told me about her life now while we listened to the music on the radio.

When dinner was finished and Liam had set the table, we ate. Of course Niall ate the most and praised our cooking skills. The others seemed to like it too. I wasn't the right person to ask because missing Louis made me kind of sick, so I didn't really care about how the dinner or anything tasted. I didn't even feel the need to eat something, but the others would force me anyway and just get worried. I preferred to show them that I was okay on my own and that I was just sad.

Spending a few hours with Gemma wasn't too bad. I actually enjoyed it. I just wished Louis was there. But when she, Niall and Liam left, my small smile left too. Zayn offered to stay with me. I told him not to, but they all had decided that there'd always be someone with me now. Just so that I wasn't alone in the big house and had someone if I needed anyone. As long as everyone would leave Louis' room and things alone, I didn't care too much about it. I'd rather be alone – I was old enough to look after myself in my opinion – but as long as I had my space, that was okay, I guess. I had to accept it anyway.

Just like the fact that Louis wasn't there anymore.. But I needed him. I knew it was selfish but I needed him. With that thought I went to bed, dreaming about Louis being there as if nothing happened. At least I had my dreamland Louis.

What do you think? xx