You Still There? (Larry Stylinson) *editing*

Chapter Four [Harry]

Chapter Four [Harry]

Tuesday, 7th February

I wasn't any better in the morning. I was still mad at management for saying so much shit about Louis and for not even having thought about a solution or getting Louis back somehow.

After a cup of coffee, which I forced down my throat, I decided to look for hints in the house. So I strolled through the house, looking through every book, behind every piece of furniture, through everything in our flat that wasn't Louis' room.

I didn't want to invade Louis' privacy and I certainly didn't want him mad at me in case he ever found out. But then again.. what if he already was? I could risk that, right?

I chewed on my bottom lip as I slowly opened the door to Louis' bedroom, almost as if Louis was at home and I was scared of him noticing that I was in his room.

Like the one time I wanted to hide Louis' birthday presents under his bed while he was looking for them everywhere in the flat. He always looked everywhere and most of the time found the presents in the house. Which was why I usually kept the presents at Liam's. But this time I hadn't gotten any time to, Louis constantly clinging to me. And while he was looking for his presents, Knowing he wouldn't look anywhere in his own bedroom, I put the presents under his bed. He almost caught me, but I was lucky and he just let it go because he was preoccupied with complaining about how he couldn't find them.

I smiled at the memory but only a second later, my happiness was replaced with sadness. Louis wasn't there anymore and I wouldn't have him acting clingy, whiny, happy and any other mood he was in. I wouldn't see his real smile again. I wouldn't see his eyes lighting up anymore. I wouldn't have him randomly hugging or cuddling me. I wouldn't see him laughing anymore. I didn't have him, my sun, my life, my everything anymore. And that pulled me down, hard. It made me choke out a sob and fall to the floor. It made me cry bitterly and I wasn't so sure if I ever could stop it again.

Eventually Zayn found me. He immediately called Liam and Niall but I didn't really get anything of what they said. I just knew because Zayn told me. He wanted to calm me down but the only thing that actually made me calm down was the fact that I was embarrassed and that I didn't want to cry in front of them. It wasn't as bad as with Louis with me, but I also didn't want them to watch me ugly sobbing.

They pulled me into hugs and told me nice things to calm down but all I wanted was a hug from Louis and his words. I wanted him to be back, hug me tightly and tell me that he'd never leave again. But he wasn't there. And he wouldn't come. I repeated the words over and over again in my head but my mind didn't seem to get it. And that's when I realized something. What if he was dead? What if it wasn't even possible for him to return? What if I'd lost him forever?

And that made me freeze and my body get numb and all I wanted was to cry and curl up in my bed and never come out again. But I couldn't. I guess, my mind had kind of shut down to protect myself.

I just kind of blinked a few times and wiped my tears away before I got up.

“Are you okay?”, Liam asked hesitantly. “I'm okay.”, I said and nodded slowly “I'm okay.”, I repeated again. “Okay.”, I murmured to myself and stared into space for a second before I shook my head slightly and walked back to the living room, plopping down on the couch and turning the TV on, completely forgetting what I actually wanted to do.

The others followed me confused and gave me weird looks, but I wasn't exactly there to notice anything.

“Are you sure you're okay?”, Liam asked again and I nodded. “Yes. Anyone who wants to go out tonight?”, I replied. “I don't think this is a go-”, Liam started, but I cut him off. “You said I should go out more. So who's coming?”

They all agreed to go out, so that's what we did. I guess they only came to look after me though.

I really wasn't myself that night. I was kind of emotionless, just doing stuff that I was used to and not really thinking anything about Louis. My mind had deleted him for a few hours. The alcohol changed that though. I drank quite a lot – even though the boys tried to convince me not to – and that made the thoughts about Louis come back when I returned to my flat, Liam and Zayn with me to prevent me from doing stupid things or anything like that. I guess Niall was pretty wasted himself. Zayn went back to the club to get Niall as soon as we reached the door to Louis' and my flat though.

I got inside and Liam followed. I was kind of annoyed so I slurred something about how I was okay and he could leave. He just sighed and went somewhere else, probably the kitchen because he came back with a cup of tea a few minutes later when I was currently writing an email to Louis.

“What are you doing?”, he asked, eying me suspiciously.

“Nothing!”, I said immediately, a little too loud maybe.

“Harry..”, Liam warned and sighed, walking over so he could see what I was doing. Drunk me has never been really hard to trick so I didn't even notice it. “Are you writing emails with Louis?”, he asked hesitantly. “He doesn't reply”, I whined and tried to focus on the screen to see what I was writing. “Harry, stop it. You're drunk. Drink your tea and go to sleep. You can write him tomorrow again.”, Liam said, putting the cup of tea on my bedside table.

“Nooo.”, I whined and he just grabbed my laptop, growing impatient. He quickly typed something and I tried to get it back but wasn't exactly successful. He shut my laptop down and placed it next to the bed.

“Tomorrow.”, he said and I rolled my eyes and huffed. “Get some rest, Harry. You'll have an awful head ache tomorrow.”, he said before he walked out and closed the door behind him after he turned the light off.

I really regretted drinking that much.

I hope you liked this chapter! It was rather dramatic haha Sorry about that..

I have to say bye now because I am literally going crazy right now... so.. I hope you liked it! Feedback would be much appreciated! Thanks

xx