You Still There? (Larry Stylinson) *editing*

Chapter Sixteen [Harry]

 Chapter Sixteen [Harry]

Saturday, 25th February...

Awaking in the middle of the night, I realized that maybe Louis didn't hate me and maybe he had no feelings for me like I had for him. But maybe he was confused and had no idea what I actually meant. I had to make that clear. My last email – and basically last words – to him would not be “I love you, Louis, it would be completely admitting what I felt towards him and how I felt about it.

While I was thinking about what to write, all of a sudden not so sure of myself anymore, I fell back asleep.

I woke up quite late but it was still before noon so no one would complain. Lately people generally avoided to do anything that could upset me though. That's when I realized my carelessness from yesterday wasn't really there anymore. I did care now. And if Louis would never come back ever again.. I didn't even want to think about it.

So I made my way downstairs and forced a sandwich down my throat. The others decided to come over again to see how I was doing today. I pretended to be happy or at least not completely feeling down. I cooked lunch for them all to convince them that everything was fine. I guess, secretly they were quite happy that they didn't have to expect an emotional break-down every second.

In the afternoon, I remembered that I still had to explain myself to Louis so I excused myself and went back to my laptop. It took me a while to get it done but I sent it in the end around 5 pm. I felt rather pathetic but I just hoped Louis would come back. I still needed him after all. Hopefully I hadn't disgusted him with what I told him. I had mentioned that I had had relationships with boys before quite at the beginning of “One Direction” and he had seemed alright with it. I mean we were best friends until he left – and I refused to stop calling him that until we'd get something more – and if you're homophobic, you won't have me as your best friend. Maybe he just accepted me as who I am though. I just hoped he was fine with me being in love with him too.

Maybe there was a small chance that he'd come back now. If he loved me back - or at least liked me – and we were meant to be, we would see each other again, right?

Louis felt like the right one. He sort of had that “One Thing” and was probably “The One" for me, as cheesy as that sounds. At least that's what it felt like at that time and I could easily imagine spending the rest of my life and growing old with him. The boys were fine with it too and I was pretty sure my mum would support me too. Maybe management wouldn't but we wouldn't work with Modest! forever, right? At least that's what I hoped because they really weren't the nicest. I mean they were alright but some things they said and did..

I was already thinking too far. As if Louis would be there or come home any second. I sighed. He probably wouldn't. I made my way back to the others and we decided to watch some movies. Zayn and Niall insisted on watching a horror movie, but with Liam's help I could stop them and we just watched other nameless shit. Nothing too sad or romantic though, the boys knew I couldn't do that now. That's probably why Zayn and Niall kept talking about horror movies but I couldn't watch those without Louis either. Not if he wasn't there to comfort me in the end at least.

We went to bed rather early compared to most other times. Watching movies had made me sleepy and so I didn't have to wait long until I finally fell asleep after I took a shower, brushed my teeth and went to bed.

Sorry, it's so short.. I promise the chapters in the sequel will be longer! At least I hope so because they probably won't be in first person and not limited to a day so it should be easier (:

Thanks for all the lovely comments! I want moooore :P

What do you think so far?

xx