You Still There? (Larry Stylinson) *editing*

Chapter Ten [Harry]

Chapter Ten [Harry]

Friday, 10th February...

Of course, I had to forget about the press conference the next day. Liam somehow thought this would happen, so he woke me up early enough to get ready. I really didn't want to get up, but I did at some point. And I forced breakfast into my mouth. The shower I took wasn't forced though. I just needed time alone and I seemed to get less and less lately. I didn't mind being around people before Louis left. No, not at all. Just now... Now I needed time alone. There was no way I could keep that smile on my face 24/7.

We all drove together to where the press conference would take place. Without Louis.

“What the hell are we going to tell them?”, I asked, panicking once we were styled like people wanted us too and almost ready. “Harry, calm down. Everything's gonna be alright. You won't have to talk much. Maybe a few words, yeah? Don't. Worry.”, Liam said, placing his hands on my shoulders and looking firmly at me. I took a deep breath and nodded once. “Alright.”, I murmured and Liam let go of me.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. Continuing as “One Direction” without Louis? I didn't think I could do that. But I had to. I had to live with this and it made me feel like I abandoned Louis in this moment. As if I'd give up.

To be honest, I was the reason why the press conference was ten minutes later than originally planned. And I also looked horrible. So I really hoped not too many people would watch. Of course, almost everyone did though. I just wished Louis was there. But him not being there was the whole reason we had to do this. And I was not sure if I actually wanted him to see me like this. I didn't want anyone to see this, but I was forced to show myself so I tried to act as normal as possible.

This whole thing was horrible for me. I really tried not to show it and keep everything I was saying quite short. I guess it wasn't so bad that we all didn't seem like we could just forget about Louis. That showed everyone we did actually care about him at least. And somehow I really did hope he watched the video and wanted to come back. He still could. I made that sure. As much as management hated it, I had made it clear that Louis had to have the chance to come back.

I bet you're wondering why we even bothered telling everyone the truth. We just couldn't keep it secret that Louis wasn't there and we couldn't come up with some lie because he was not at his mum's and people would have noticed. And maybe they would've made up worse rumors. So management thought it was better to tell them the truth. And I agreed with them even though I was pretty sure we gained a few more hater because of all that. Louis because he left and we because we continued without him.

After the press conference, we met up at Liam's and ate lunch together. They didn't want me to go home where I'd be alone after I almost lost it before. I didn't protest. I let them tug me with them and just sat there, listening to their conversations. More or less. It's not like I'd really paid attention. I was just happy that it kind of kept all the thoughts away. I didn't want to think so much anymore. It didn't bring Louis back. Nothing did. He didn't even give me a “I'm okay.”. He just left. I wish I'd know why..

At some point I just wanted to write another email so I asked Liam for his laptop, which he gave to me. I stayed near them though because I needed some sort of noise so I wouldn't get even more upset. At least someone was there, right?

So I wrote the next email and I almost considered telling Louis all this. Telling him why I missed him as much as I did. But I didn't. I didn't because Liam got unexpected visitors and Niall and Zayn decided to spend the rest of the day at mine and Louis' so we went there.

We watched television for some time before all the electricity went down. That day was one of the worst. First, the press conference, then the almost-telling-Louis-what-I-feel and now we didn't even have electricity.

In the end, the loss of electricity wasn't too bad. We just took a few candles and somehow we started to tell each other stories. Stories from before x factor and from our lives and from what changed.

And somehow I ended up telling them that I had a crush on Louis. They were quiet for a few minutes and I wasn't sure if I had made a mistake by telling them but they were alright with it. They understood me better now. Not that they weren't upset. No, they were not much better than I was. But they said they understood and that was all I needed. At least I still had my best mates. They asked me if they should keep it a secret from Liam but I said I wouldn't mind. If he knew, then everyone in the band knew and I highly doubted Liam would have a problem with it.

Before we could talk more, the power was back. I got tired and the others decided to stay the night at mine, so I went to bed, leaving Niall and Zayn on their own.

So, I hope you like this rather boring chapter? I know it's not happening that muuuch but I try to update often so you can keep reading.. I have the feeling the story goes like this: --___-|| wow damn I look stupid now haha gosh I am so dumb. Better upload before I delete everything again :D

xx