You Still There? (Larry Stylinson) *editing*

Chapter Seven [Louis]

Chapter Seven [Louis]

Wednesday, 8th February...

I slept longer than I thought I would. I guess my mind needed some more sleep to get clearer again. I also thought spending some time outside was quite nice so I would do it again tonight. Exercising also kept my minds off of Harry and everything before I left.

Somehow I was in a better mood today although I was still a little worried about Harry. I figured I would get an email today again since Liam kind of promised it and Harry seemed to need me just as much as I needed him. I didn't want to hurt him like that. I hated myself for doing that, but I also had my punishment. I couldn't go outside all day and risk being noticed, couldn't talk to my family, Harry, the lads or anyone, had to eat lots of crappy stuff because my cooking was not the best - I was too lazy to try anyway - and I couldn't go out and eat and I basically had to hide myself all the time.

But since I was okay today, after some physical exercises and lots of sleep, I decided to try to cook something. I knew it was rather risky without Harry to save me and the food, but I thought pasta couldn't be too hard, right?

So that's why I went out to do some quick shopping. I bought some pasta and already done tomato sauce that I only had to warm up. Some young girl in the supermarket glanced over at me a few times and I was scared she would recognise me. She didn't say anything though and I let out a relieved sigh when I left the shop.

I went back to my room and placed the things in the small corner that was kind of a "kitchen". It wasn't that much of a kitchen, but there was a small sink, a small stove, a few drawers and a microwave. That was pretty much it. I found an old pot and filled some water in it, turning on the stove and waited for the water to boil. I knew I should probably put some salt in it but I forgot to buy some and the one I found didn't seem very appealing to me.

So while I waited for the water to boil, I looked for another pot to warm up the tomato sauce. I decided to wash that one first, because one could never be sure here. On my search for the right pot I also found a spider but I was quick to put it outside. Although I didn't really hate spiders, I also didn't like to have them living with me.

When I finished cleaning up that pot, the water was boiling and I put the noodles into it, looking at the time so I wouldn't put them out too late. I put the sauce into the pot and put it on the stove too before I went to wash a plate and a fork.

Somehow I finished it all without burning the whole room down although I almost burned the sauce. Luckily, it didn't came that far and I noticed it in time. It didn't taste that well but I was quite proud of myself that I cooked something eatable without any help.

So after I finished eating - I still liked Harry's meals better though - I did the dishes and put everything back to place. I knew this was totally out of character for me, but if I had to live on my own from now on, I had to learn to grow up and look after myself. I didn't want to grow up, but I decided I would rather do that now than die and never even have the chance to see Harry again.

So I also cleaned up a bit, but really not much. Just so that most of the mess wasn't as messy anymore.

When I was finished with my work, I laid down on the bed and sighed. I had kept myself occupied until now and most of the time forced Harry out of my thoughts. But I didn't really like that either so now all the thoughts of Harry came back. I turned on the TV even though I wasn't planning on watching it and buried my face in a pillow for a few minutes. I got too bored then and grabbed my laptop, switching it on.

I didn't have to wait long until I got an email of Harry this time and I was quite happy about it. I was also happy about the fact that Liam and Harry's mum forbid Harry to go out and get wasted like that again.

I miss going out with you. Or just doing anything with you.

Oh how right Harry was there. I missed him too and also while doing anything. I just had to force him off my mind if I wanted to prevent myself from thinking about him.

My thoughts about management weren't that much, because I simply didn't want to think about it. I knew way too little about the future to waste my time with thinking about them.

I just miss you so much. Don't you miss me too? I don't know..

Did Harry honestly doubt I missed him? That kind of hurt. But what should I expect? I would probably feel not any different if Harry was the one leaving.. Thinking about this made me guilty. I had left him without giving him a good reason, without saying anything. And if I was him, I'd burden myself with guilt.

I read over Harry's last words and that was the last thing I needed to have a tear rolling down my cheek. I'd love nothing better than going back to London now, pull Harry into a tight hug and tell him that I'll never leave again. But that was not a possibility.

This was slowly killing me and I just pushed my laptop away, burying myself in the bed and crying silently until I just fell asleep.

Thanks so much to anyone who is reading this! What do you guys think? x