Welcome to Paradise // Billie Joe Armstrong // #Wattys2017

Christie Road

I'm in the passenger seat of the car next to Billie, who has his eyes focused on the road. My hands are safely tucked into the pockets of my coat, holding a tight grip onto my murder pen. I twiddle it between the tips of my finger as I feel the hardened blood crumble into the depths of my pocket. I continue to stare outside the window.

The once bright green leaves have all colored brown, orange and yellow and are laying scattered everywhere, making it nearly impossible to distinguish the pavement from the road. The bright light from the sun shines through the empty branches of the trees, that are softly swaying back and forth along with the rhythm of the wind.

The streets are practically abandoned apart from the car Billie and I are in. As the vehicle shoots through them, the rustling leaves are flared up into the sky and land elsewhere on the road. A trail of destruction is left behind and reveals the presence of human life in the, now, deserted town we're in.

I hope it doesn't attract anything bad.

I've encountered walkers before. Nevertheless, I'm still afraid. From the beginning of the apocalypse, I've had the protection of the high iron gates the school is surrounded with. Now, the only protection I have is the chassis of the red cabriolet I'm in. And the man that's with me.

Billie.

I feel so blessed by the fact that he's dragged me away from the empty nothingness my days consisted off and has taken me under his guidance, but every waking hour of the day I need to remind myself that we're not here for me. Or for my desperate search for love.

We're here to find Adrienne, and I need to enjoy the time I have with Billie until it's gone. And not waste it on pointless fantasies about spending the rest of my life with a man that is about 27 years older than me.

I had hopes that I would find someone some day that would voluntarily spend time with me. Someone that would get excited if I texted them to ask if they wanted to hang out. Someone that would care.

Someone that wouldn't just pretend to.

Maybe we will never be able to find Adrienne and Billie will eventually give up his search and come live with me in the school. We can be happy together.

The violent thoughts enter my mind faster than I want to, but with the whole of my abilities I try to stop them. I know I've said it before, but what goes on inside my head should always remain a secret. My thoughts are poisonous and kill everyone that comes in touch with them.

I know very well that my time to find love is up. It's just my damned brain that doesn't understand that.

"what's with the worried face?" Billie suddenly asks, snapping me out of my sorrows.

I look to my left and see Billie cocking an eyebrow at me. "Oh, it's nothing. I'm just a little nervous to be out of the school. It's my first time." I half-lie.

"I understand, I'm afraid as well" Billie admits. "I've been out with those things before, probably. I just can't remember it" he adds, before he turns his eyes to the road in front of him again.

"How's your wound, by the way?" I ask, while fidgeting with a loose thread coming out of my jeans.

"It's okay" Billie responds, while slowly bringing his hand down to his waist. He lets out a small groan as his fingers come in contact with the torn flesh and when he lifts his shirt up a slight bit, I notice the bandage is completely soaked in blood. Billie notices it too and tilts his head up a little to face me, taking his eyes off his body.

"We better refresh the bandage when we get to Mikes house, he has some experience with these kinds of things"

I nod in approval, but keep quiet about the fact that Mike might not at all be in his house. The chances are very small he managed to survive that long in such a crowded area without anything to protect his house with.

I'm terrified for what we'll encounter in the neighborhood. The environment around the school is quiet. It's nothing but trees on and on and on for many miles, which explains why there are so few walkers out here. But I know we have to be prepared for what's coming once we reach the more suburban areas.

"Billie, can you stop the car for a minute?" I carefully ask.

Billie turns his head back in my direction and cocks an eyebrow at me. "You okay?" he asks, worriedly, as he slows down the car and parks it at the side of the road.

"Yeah, no I'm fine. It's just..." I trail off, thinking of how to bring to Billie the one thing I've wanted to say since we left the school.

"I ehm... have this pen and I killed my first walker with it. I want you to have it, because... I don't know, it just seemed the right thing to do I guess" I say, stumbling over nearly every word I manage to produce. I decided to leave out the part where the pen has become a piece of me over the past two months, how it helped me get through, even though I've never really used after my first walker. He would think I'm crazy if I would ever say such things. When I look back at Billie, I notice his face is captivated in an adorable smile.

I feel my cheeks starting to blush as I clumsily try to get the pen out of the pocket of my denim jacket. I hand the object over to Billie.

"There's a, ehm... little blood on it, but you can just wipe it off or something" I mumble as I tuck my hands back in my pocket and study the carpet beneath me.

Next to me, Billie is studying the pen, turning it over a couple of times.

"Why did you keep it?" Billie asks, still looking at the object in his hands.

Great. Now I'm going to have to explain to him how much it means to me and he'll just think I'm some psycho hoarder. It was a stupid idea to give the pen to Billie.

"Oh, I don't know, I just thought it was cool to keep" I lie. I turn my head towards the window to prevent him seeing my – now turning – red face.

I hear Billie chuckle next to me, but decide to ignore it.

"You're a real sweetheart" he says, and I turn my head to face him again. When our eyes interlock, an innocent grin appears on his face. He softly squeezes me in my upper leg and gives me a quick wink, something which awakens the butterflies in my stomach. I smile shyly and drop my head to the carpet beneath my feet again.

"I'll hold on to it dearly" he assures me with a smile. "Now let's go get to Mike's"